Saturday, August 29, 2009

Creating love: Lead with your heart, follow a plan

"When you told me that we would create a place for love to come into my life, by leading with my heart, but also through creating a plan, I really thought this sounded like way too much work. Ninety days later, I see the reality in front of me, and I am just blown away! Wow!"

Frank was somewhat skeptical when he sat in my office a few months ago, and we discussed his desire to create a beautiful love relationship. And yet, as he begins his walk into a new love affair, he is seeing the payoff to both his "heart work", and "head work". ( To see the plan we followed, please read our blog from two days ago, where we describe the steps of intention, gratitude, and action, in our quest for love.)

Over the past number of years, I have seen the same reaction from so
many clients. They are skeptical of creating deep love. They've been hurt too many times. They've been lied to and mislead in love. It may work for others, but they have just about given up on their own beliefs, that deep love can happen for them.

They have just reached the perfect stage of "surrender", and if they now create a plan and follow it daily, they have a fantastic chance to find the love within themselves, and another, that they have been searching for.

Frank was laughing hysterically, actually with a joy I had not seen in our months of weekly meetings. He was blown away, that by writing down the characteristics of the type of person he wanted to meet, (emotionally free of past relationships, happy with herself, a good communicator, fun, spiritual, free of habits that would cause a separation between them, healthy, honest, etc.)and putting a date next to these traits that they would meet by, (Sept, 1st, 2009), and then daily seeing their union in his mind, (visualization with emotion), that the possibility of deep love would actually appear in his life.

Yet, as they met for the first time, as he says, "there was an instant comfort zone that had already been created, we both felt we had been together for a very long time. All I can say is wow, this stuff really works."

The surprise to me every time I see this happen in my work, is "Why would anyone be that surprised? You've just created love on earth, by leading with your heart, (deep desire), and followed a plan." (Brought your desire into the physical plane by writing it down, and following it daily. )

Frank now has the ability, through daily surrender and service, to follow his heart, and watch the love he desires to grow. If his partner is on the same path, there is literally nothing that can stop the flow of love between two conscious, connected souls. Daily reminding each other of the unique love they have, and speaking about how to go to deeper, more open levels of communication, will be the fuel needed to flourish in love.

Slow down, create your path to love, with your current partner, or a new one if you are single today.

Peace, love, David

Friday, August 28, 2009

Heaven On Earth Book Reading

Sept 16th, Wed 6-7pm

Join Rev. David Essel, Master Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and author of 5 books for a free reading of his latest book, Heaven on Earth: God Speaks through the Heart of a Young Monk.

David will be discussing the concepts of experiencing heaven on earth and revealing his process of discovery in the writing of this magical book. He will be exploring his mysterious channelings of the life experiences of this young monk and how those stories relate to current times and remain as relevant now as in past eras.

For more info or to purchase the book Click here.

There is no need to RSVP for the Book Reading. Please come to the Church of Spiritual Light, 1939 Park Meadows Dr. Unit 1, Ft. Myers, FL 33907 or visit

FGCU - Public Speaking & Communication Level 1 Certificate

Date: Sept. 24, Oct 1, 8 and15, 2009
Days: Thursdays 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm (each session)
Location: FGCU - Atrium Executive Center 8695 College Pkwy Training Room 1181
Fee: $695 (includes materials)
Instructor: David Essel
Public Speaking & Communication Certificate with David Essel, M.S.

Learn the art of presenting and public speaking from Internationally acclaimed Motivational Speaker, Author and Master Life Coach, David Essel. David's Public Speaking Certification course not only gives you techniques for sound and stimulating public speaking, but can help you build the confidence to do it with ease. From the elevator speech to the lecture hall, David will guide you through the processes that can help you tap into your innate ability to use your voice, your words and your passion to deliver your message in a way that will engage and enthrall your audiences, both large and small.

If you currently work in the world of non-profit, education, finance, healthcare or the service industries...this course will help take you and your organization to the next level. If you are looking for a career shift, David Essel's Public Speaking Certification through FGCU is a powerful way to enhance your job prospecting opportunities.

David Essel has been a professional motivational speaker and presenter for over 24 years and is the author of, Slow Down: The Fastest Way to Get Everything You Want (Hay House Publishing 2004). His clients include fortune 500 companies such as Boeing, American Express, Nestle, Lifetime Television, Chico's, March of Dimes and many more. David provides a unique opportunity to not only garner compelling speaking skills, but as a life coach he can help you break through the barriers that hold you back from getting your message out to the world!
To further enhance your public speaking and communication skills, assignments are included to help you build confidence and practice skills learned. This program will allow you the opportunity to prepare a final presentation applying all the techniques learned. Your presentation can be live or taped and that, along with feedback from the instructor, will become a valuable learning tool for professional growth.

For information, call Joanne Hartke at (239) 425-3273
Registration Form

See What Graduates Have to Say...

Hi David,
I wanted to let you know how rewarding and relevant your public speaking class was. Regardless of whether I will be presenting a training session, providing information at a sales meeting, speaking one on one with someone or in front of a group, the techniques I learned are invaluable.

Speaking in public has always intrigued me but I never thought much about putting my thoughts into action because I didn't feel I "owned" a topic nor had the confidence to make it come to fruition. Today tells a different story and the thoughts of delivering a presentation that excites an audience and/or informs them on the subject matter is something I look forward to.

Thank you so much for sharing your ideas, strategies, skills, experience, etc. to allow us to focus on our strengths, gain confidence and have the ability to present to an audience a speech they will never forget! As always, your dedication, caring and knowledge mean so much!

With warmest regards,
Joann M.


"This class was amazing and helped me deliver my very first presentation to a major statewide conference with confidence. David's approach helped me focus and learn the keys to becoming a better public speaker. I can't believe how much I improved in just 3 weeks! David had the ability to coach the best out of me. Thank you!' ~ Renee Bledsoe, Addiction Alchemy

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Many Paths to Enlightenment

Over the past 24 years, one of the greatest gifts that I have been given by my teachers is that there are many paths to enlightenment. As a matter of fact, some of these paths have been extremely surprising to learn about.

Initially, I'm sure like many, I believed that following a deeply religious or spiritual path, that of a monk, or a rabbi or priest, was truly the only way to the awakened state. Then as my understanding began to grow, I was taught the ultimate in truth, that anyone can get there, and very possibly in this lifetime, if they devote themselves to this purpose.

Like the athlete who desires to reach their ultimate in ability, the seeker on the path to enlightenment must also allow a variety of teachings to delve into their soul, and to create daily rituals that lead them to a deeper understanding of who they are, and what it is exactly that they are seeking.

Some choose the path of service, some the path of love, some the path of understanding, while others the path of extreme meditative solitude. Each of them can lead to the freedom, the acceptance, and the bliss of the awakened one.

Along with my personal teachers, hundreds of interviews with people like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, and Lama Sura Das, have opened my eyes to the magic of this life.

But this next point may come as a surprise. Enlightenment can also come in the form of great pain and discomfort.

A while ago after a meditation/pure light blessing class I was leading, I asked the group to share their personal experiences of the past hour if they were so inclined. After many had spoken of their union with the divine, feelings of extreme warmth or revelations that took the form of visions, a man raised his hand and began to speak.

"I wish I had good news to share, but my experience was quite different. I realized during this time, that my life is an absolute mess!"

Pure enlightenment, or awakening had occurred, although at first he did not see it. He had reached a state of truth, the blinders were off, and now he was finally free to choose a new path! Through awareness, another stage of enlightenment had occurred in his life.

Like the rungs of a ladder, enlightenment for most of us comes one step at a time. We see that what used to bother us before, we flow with. Anxiety levels drop , inner peace occurs more readily with each movement along the way, until one day we see why we are here, what life is all about....awakening to who we are, love, that we simply have to remember.

From Hinduism, to Buddhism, to Christianity and more, there are countless paths to enlightenment. Find yours, slow down, and lovingly focus more brilliantly on it today than yesterday.

Love, peace, David


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Creating love, now, here, forever......

.......So how is it that some people create deep love in their life now, right here, that lasts forever?

Let's look at a simple pathway to do just that....

1..Create an intention that you desire such an experience, in writing, starting with the words "I AM..."

IE...I AM in a deep ,loving, sharing, serving, love relationship as it appears through Universal Mind,or through God, on or before 9/1/09.

2..Create a written list of the people, animals, that you have in your life right now that you love, care about deeply.....and let them know this!

3..Create a written list of the action steps that you will take to put yourself in the "sight" of loves path. ......a..let 5 people know that you are open to the deepest of love

b...join social networking/dating sites and create a profile that states just that!

c..join a class/church etc that would have like minded people in attendance, and go every week!

4..Write out the personal character traits of the person you desire to bring into your, honest, communicative, religious/spiritual, artistic, funny,health conscious, single(no, I'm not kidding!), or whatever traits means the most to you. Put some serious thought into your answers for this question.

Know, really feel, and see in your minds eye every morning and every nite, that this is already your reality.

Enjoy, slow down, and enjoy this now....Smile!

And so it is..............

Love, peace, David

We can change at any age!

A while ago I receive an emotional phone call from a woman who was at her wits end, wondering if it would be possible to help her husband make some major life changes even though he was in his later years. .

"I can't handle this roller coaster ride anymore, I love him dearly, we've been married almost 40 years, but we need help, he needs help now! Or I will have to leave him. "

For many of us in life, we've bought into the old saying, that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks. " That belief is so outdated, yet many hold onto it mainly due to their fear of change. Yes, change can be scary at any age, yet in my line of work, it is the pathways to success, peace, love, and happiness.

The next day, this couple came into my office and the anxiety was written on both of their faces. Mark, had been struggling for the past 2 years with alcohol. At 85 years of age, he had rarely drank at all, and now over the past 24 months, he had been hiding his drinking, lying about it, and in the process every time he drank he became intolerant, obstinate and arrogant towards his wife.

He was open to help, and somewhat willing to meet with me everyday for 30 straight days, either over the phone or in person, but neither of them were aware that the shift would be so amazing, so incredible, over a short one month time period!

Here's what Mark had to say about his program of change.

"I wanted to save my marriage, and knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did not know how to change it on my own. I reached out to David, but had no idea that I could change so many things, including my attitude and my understanding of God, in such a short period of time!

His program was exactly what I needed to get focused, and to have a daily plan to follow to get me back on track. In all my years of church, which I love, I really did not believe that God, as I understood Him, could love me so personally, and care about me, my marriage, and my sobriety so deeply.

David's program and caring, has led me to a whole new life, I kid you not! At my age, I wasn't sure at all , that this could all happen, especially in just 30 days. It's been a miracle for me, and has proven to me that anyone can change at any age, and get the life of love and peace they want.

I truly recommend that anyone who wants a new life, a great, great life, should work with David and his program. My wife now tells me everyday, that our marriage is better now than it has ever been over the past 40 years! And she's right! Our thanks are very deep, and from our heart. "

As I re read his words, I know that it is true for anyone, at any age to change for the better. To find deep passionate love, to find inner peace, to create an income they love, a career they adore , a deeper connection of spirituality or religion, and anything else you could ever desire.

Decide today is the day to change regardless of what your age is, and reach out and ask for help.

Slow down.

Love, peace, David

Friday, August 21, 2009

Connecting with God through our addictions

Did you know that one of the major reasons why we become addicted to anything, food, alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, smoking, etc. is because that substance or behavior helps us to connect to God, or the feeling of God?

It is undeniably true. We search for an addiction that will give us that "hit", that "feeling" of being one with something greater than ourselves. And every addiction known to man does exactly just that.

The first or second drink for the alcoholic is literally an experience of heaven, just like the first or second drag off of a cigarette, or the first big bite of a piece of cake, or the first or second line of cocaine to the drug addict. In each of these cases, there is a direct feeling of "ahhhhhhhhhh, now we'll be OK."

As a gratefully recovering alcoholic and drug addict, I know firsthand that feeling of connecting with God through my substances of choice. I felt free, relaxed, at ease, and even confident with my wine in hand, or the lines of coke on the table. Even the thought of doing a line, would make me feel excited, ready to feel the oneness with divinity, where all is good. Pouring that glass of wine, and the feeling that came while finishing the first, and looking forward to the second, was heaven.

If I was on the beach, listening to the water, feeling the sun on my skin as it was setting, holding my wine like a sacred nectar, would signal the end of a day, time to fully let go and surrender to the "perfect " life. We all know that the perfect life is divine, divinity itself.

But there is a catch. For all addicts, that "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh " feeling was short lived. After that first piece of cake, or cigarette, the chase to find the "ahhhh", the futile chase would begin. And, it would never be found. "Chasing the dragon", a phrase used by many drug addicts, signaled the truth....we were chasing our own demise. You see, that feeling is short lived, and is a false sense of a connection that we are searching for. The second or third drink cannot bring back the original moment that we felt finally relaxed, so we would have another, and another, but to no avail.

We now were addicted to chasing, but never catching, that divine feeling again. And the race was on. A false and frustrating sense of security was being chased, as we tried to fill a void with a substance or behavior that will never ever fill it.

The void we are trying to fill is the void of love, or God, or our higher power. The reason why all successful recovery programs, including the one I personally run, include a spiritual component of some kind, is because the only option for anyone struggling with any addiction is to surrender to a higher power, who some call God.

While we all do find this feeling of a higher power initially through our addictions believe it or not, it will never stay. However, when we find what we are looking for through a recovery program, that feeling can stay longer and longer. And, we won't be killing ourselves, and destroying relationships in the process.

Yes, while all addictions lead us to the feeling of invincibility, divinity, or God right here on earth, thank goodness there is another way to find that same connection.

If you or someone you know is struggling with any form of addiction, please contact me as soon as possible, or any other recovery program. There is so much help available, don't wait another day to find it.

Slow down.

Love, peace, David

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Lust: A critical component of a love relationship

Without a doubt, lust is a very important component of a love relationship, but oh, how many love to lam bast this critical aspect of our existence. Unfortunately for many, due to an erroneous upbringing or a religion that instills guilt versus reality, lust truly became a four letter word.

Now, as someone who works in the field of helping people to recover from addictions, I have seen and worked with individuals who had an addiction to lust, to sex, and yes even to love. And for these people, until they are in recovery, how they pursue, or act within a intimate relationship needs to be kept within certain boundaries, so that lust can become the love they seek.

So, let's look at the term lust. According to Webster, it means "an intense sexual desire". Period. That's it. And all I can say is "amen!"

We desire this don't we in a relationship? Isn't that such a beautiful divinely given characteristic, that sets apart our feelings for one person over another? I love the concept of lust, of an intense sexual desire for a partner, that separates her from the rest. If there was ever a beautifully written connotation of the word lust, I hope it is right here, right now.

Quite simply, lust rocks!

Of course it is not the end all of a relationship, it never has been , and never will be. After the initial phase of physical attraction, and sexual desire, we move up the ladder from our primal desires to intellectual ones, and finally on to the spiritual connection that cements all deep love relationships. As a part of this, we go to the concept of serving out partner, during both good and challenging times, not just when we want to. Yes, we are now moving into the progression of what is referred to as love.

But let's not move too quickly. Let's enjoy the lust a little longer. As a matter of fact, I see lust, or a strong sexual desire, as a type of glue that can help a relationship to mature. If we accept, and acknowledge the importance of lust, in the beginning and then throughout a love relationship, we could easily experience the concept of sacred sexuality, divine union, for the physical desire between a couple should be held as important, and yes sacred!

Explore the concept of lust. Do not be afraid to even use the word. "Yes, my love, I feel a strong sexual desire for you!" Why not say that to your partner! Why not release the shame and guilt, and in a very healthy way encourage each others sexual desire, don't dampen it...encourage it!

One of my missions in life is to help us all to become free in our sexuality and intimacy, and it does not happen by sitting on the sideline of life. We must all become more involved. Our sexual desires for a partner should be kept as a critical component of love, one that keeps us fresh, young, regardless of our age of how long we've been together.

Dress to express your sexuality. Decide as a couple to let go, to become more free sexually, to work with someone in this field as you let go of inhibitions and communicate more openly and honestly. Let lust become a pathway to fall even deeper in love.

Slow down.

Love, peace, David

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Erotic Kiss: A Lost Art

Do you remember when you first started dating, the passion you put into kissing, and even quite possible the erotic kiss? For many, it was called "making out", and these kissing sessions could literally last for hours. Your passion was so intense, so driven, that it wasn't just a kiss, it was a passionate kiss. Sensual. Yes, even erotic.

Over the years I have worked with many couples who complain about a staleness that has permeated their relationship.A loss of passion. And their question is always centered around ideas to bring that initial passion back.

To be quite honest, alot of the chaos and lack of passion in relationships can usually be traced to unresolved resentments. Usually both partners in a relationship where the passion has fizzled are harboring resentments that have built up over the years. If these issues aren't resolved, all of the sensual techniques in the world will not be able to save the relationship. The foundation has to be rebuilt, and then the passion may have a chance to return to it's initial glory.

For other couples who truly have minimal if any resentments, one of the quickest ways to bring the passion back is to begin to center their attention on the area it all started in when they first met: the kiss. The passionate, or erotic kiss has become a lost art with many couples who have been together for as short as two years.

Ask yourself honestly this question: Do we put as much energy , time and passion into our kiss as we did when we first met? The reason this is so crucial is because of the fact that the kiss, a slow passionate kiss , releases a barrage of hormones that elicits a bonding, passion and yes even a lust for our partner. The softness of our lips connecting, followed by our tongues, is truly one of the most erotic ways we can connect with another person. Take this away, and intimacy can become robotic in nature.

Talk with your partner about bringing back the art of kissing in your relationship if it has taken a back seat over the months or years you have been together. Then, begin slowly to explore each other with slow, focused and passionate kisses once again. Take your time and kiss each others cheeks, forehead, nose and neck. Slowly suck on each others lower lip, and savor the build up of hormones as you flash back to early on in your relationship.

Take your kiss then, and slowly go down their body, work around the genitals with erotic kisses, but do not actually kiss this area. Allow the tension to build as you kiss near, but not on, the genitals themselves. Work your way back up their body, until you've reached their lips once again. By now, you should be able to see the power of the erotic kiss, feel it's electricity, and bring that beautiful passion back to an all time high.

Slow down, and enjoy the ecstasy of the erotic kiss.

Love, peace, David