Dating with a purpose, a focus, a reason?

Over the years so many clients I've worked with who were in the world of dating, we doing so without a real focus, a purpose, a passion.

At first they would claim that they were focused, but when the question would be raised, of why they allowed themselves to consistently stay in unhealthy relationships......they saw indeed that they were not as focused as they thought they were.

Watch this short video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh2Hqi3UyZY

Now, as you head out into the world of dating, be ready, be real, be focused...to find what you are truly looking for.

Love, David http://www.davidessel.com

Lovers, with separate bedrooms? Really?

Two people who are in love, are supposed to sleep together, right? I mean isn't that the reason we commit to each other? To share the closeness and intimacy, that we do not with others?

Over the years, this topic has come up again and again in my life coaching practice. Some say yes, they should sleep together regardless of work schedules etc. Others say we should be flexible in our approach to this topic.

Watch this short video to see the truth about this topic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTgrwFezJ0c

Slow down, to make the best decision for your life, and love.

Love, David http://www.davidessel.com

Is there a downside, for being honest?

Since we were little kids, we've been told that the path to a great life, is to "always be honest". But could there be, a downside, to living an honest life?

The answer, which may surprise many, is yes. As a mater of fact, if you are truly living an honest life, you'll find that there are in face many challenges associated with being honest.

Watch this brief video, to see what we mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9OxtND6n0g

Slow down, and realize, that with honesty there are challenges, but the end result, is a life, that you are proud to be living.

Love, David http://www.davidessel.com

He's A Player! What do I do?

My client walks in recently, quickly starts explaining her insane week, then blurts out , "But David he's a player, what do I do?"

We had begun working together 3 months ago, with the focus on her spiritual path. Learning how to meditate, judging herself and others less often, were just a few of the amazing accomplishments she had made.

And then, she met HIM. An amazing guy, spiritual, open, free, who had helped his mom immensely on her passing recently. She had fallen quite quickly.

In one of their conversations, she had asked him if he was dating other women. He said yes. she was cool with that, as he had told her the truth.

Weeks go by, she wanted to go to a play, and had invited him. He told her he was not available, so she decided to push to find out why.

His answer, that he had plans to see someone else that nite, sent her reeling!

"So, what is a player I asked her?"

"Someone who sees a lot of women, and no one knows about it," she replies.

"Well, he does not fit that category, does he?"

There is a long pause....... "NO."

A longer pause.

"In the first 6 months of seeing him, it really did not bother me. Because of his honesty, I was actually ok with that. "

"What do you really feel, since it's not anger at him, since he's not a player according to your definition."

"I feel like I want to be in a committed relationship with him, but I'm afraid...he might say...no."

Yes, we all are afraid of rejection. as my client left the office, I could see a beautiful shift. She was on her way to talk openly with him, just as he had over the past 6 months with her.

Stay tuned.

Slow down, be real, honest.

Love, David http://www.davidessel.com

Dating : Part 2 Looking for Love, The challenge

I had a feeling that the first blog on dating would get a reaction from both men and women who are looking for love, and facing the challenges that go with the territory.

"So, if people do not call when they say they will, do you give them a second chance? is that the same as a physical no-show for coffee or a drink?"

"I feel very frustrated with the number of women who lead you to believe they are interested in dating, then disappear....without a return call, with no answer, after 1 or 2 meetings, they kiss you and tell you how much they loved the date..then poof!! you never get a response! what the hell is that???"

I think you now know the challenges of dating. If you're not in the game, you're probably thinking "Thank God!!" lol......

Let's look at my first response, that no shows of any kind are truly a blessing, that these people were not right for you.

Now, also think of this. Often times our outer world is a reflection of our inner thoughts. So, if you do not trust men, or women, you may be getting this "poor treatment" by others as a reflection of your inner thoughts. You'll have to do some inner work to see what your real beliefs are....do that now, be brutally honest with yourself.

And, make sure that you are not treating others, even subconsciously, as you are being treated.

Make sure your word to EVERYONE is solid, that You do what you say you will at all times.

Last, if how someone treats you does not feel right, let them go. Quickly.

Slow down, love yourself and others.

Love, peace, David Essel. www.talkdavid.com