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THE CHOICE TO BE ALONE — IS THERE A POSITIVE SIDE? “GETTING BIG” with David Essel “I think it is a sign of strength, power and confidence to consciously choose to walk your own path, pursue a dream and live a normal life. You can accomplish more, and have a more fulfilling life than those who feel they are a failure if they are not with another individual. Look at how many people jump from one relationship to the next throughout their whole lives, or remain in one because of the fear of aloneness. If you are alone, ask yourself why? Do you feel comfortable being alone and maximize the time you have that is not being devoted to someone else? Are you doing something for your career growth, for yourself, for society? Because if you are not utilizing the extra time constructively, I think that is a sad waste. At certain periods in our life many of us are not ready to commit to a relationship or may not have found that person who is compatible for us. We should still be happy. Having a fear of aloneness often is societally based, because it's society view that there must be something wrong with you. There is pressure from ads that show couples skipping down the beach. And of course there are familial pressures. Some suffer from a personal fear of aloneness, and are uncomfortable or frightened to be alone for even a few hours. I believe this stems from a lack of knowing yourself and your own immense power and worth. These people run from their thoughts and internal dialogue, and cover it up with distractions like watching television, listening to the radio, eating food, making idle conversation on the phone that leads us nowhere, taking drugs, etc. are always out. If you were comfortable with yourself, you would be able to sit in silence. The first thing I tell people who always have the television or music on when home alone is to become aware of their habits, because there is no way anything will change in your life if you aren't first aware. Here is an example: a female client said to me, I have no time for myself. And it was true. She was a single mother of two, and worked 60 hours a week. I asked her to count all the times that she said this to herself. It turned out to be 47 times a day. Well, if you say something to yourself so often, this creates a belief and you will find ways to sabotage your desire for time for yourself. After realizing she had all these negative thoughts, we did a time chart. If you don't know how fearful of being alone you are, start to chart what you do when you come home. If you find yourself immediately flipping on the radio, the television, or grabbing a phone . . . stop. You will begin to hear your true self emerge from within. Be patient. It takes time. And it should be comforting to know that everybody is, in fact, alone. Meditating is a great way to relax when home alone. But for those who aren't into meditating, the Buddhist practice of mindfulness is less structured and also helpful. It can take place with the washing of a glass, where you focus on the warmth of the water, the slipperiness of the soap, the texture of the glass. Or when taking a shower, and you feel every zone of your body. Or when chopping vegetables and preparing a meal. As we incorporate this awareness during simple everyday activities, the mind automatically relaxes. Regarding love relationships and their affect on health, most studies that have come out say that individuals who are happily committed in long-term relationships are healthier than those who are single in their later years. But a caveat is that those who are involved in communal activities with a lot of social interaction have similar health statistics to those in committed relationships, and their state of happiness, self-esteem and confidence should not be affected. Conversely, if an individual chooses to be alone due to a fear of commitment, or believing that they're not worthy enough for a relationship, this is a weakness and needs to be addressed. Living without a sexual relationship is tough, although many people have learned about their bodies, sexual desires, and needs when they are alone. A woman just told me that she began pleasing herself sexually and found zones that she had never found in her 20-year marriage, and as she approaches a new relationship will now be more aware and sensually involved. Sexual aloneness gets a bad rap because human beings are meant to be intimate. But, looking on the bright side, we can use this aloneness to explore our sexuality and learn more about ourselves.” --------------------------------------- If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on. David http://www.davidessel.com |
Learn the art of presenting and public speaking from Internationally acclaimed Motivational Speaker, Author and Master Life Coach, David Essel. David's Public Speaking Certification course not only gives you techniques for sound and stimulating public speaking, but can help you build the confidence to do it with ease. From the elevator speech to the lecture hall, David will guide you through the processes that can help you tap into your innate ability to use your voice, your words and your passion to deliver your message in a way that will engage and enthrall your audiences, both large and small.
If you currently work in the world of non-profit, education, finance, healthcare or the service industries...this course will help take you and your organization to the next level. If you are looking for a career shift, David Essel's Public Speaking Certification through Edison State College is a powerful way to enhance your job prospecting opportunities.
David Essel has been a professional motivational speaker and presenter for over 24 years and is the author of, Slow Down: The Fastest Way to Get Everything You Want (Hay House Publishing 2004). His clients include fortune 500 companies such as Boeing, American Express, Nestle, Lifetime Television,
To Register call Wendy Thompson
Continuing Education, Edison State College
See What Graduates Have to Say...
"I wanted to let you know how rewarding and relevant your public speaking class was. Speaking in public has always intrigued me but I never thought much about putting my thoughts into action because I didn't feel I "owned" a topic, nor had the confidence to make it come to fruition. Today tells a different story. The thoughts of delivering a presentation that excites an audience is now something I look forward to. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas, strategies, skills, experience, etc. to allow us to focus on our strengths, gain confidence and have the ability to present to an audience a speech they will never forget! As always, your dedication, caring and knowledge mean so much!” With warmest regards, Joann M.
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"This class was amazing and helped me deliver my very first presentation to a major statewide conference with confidence. David's approach helped me focus and learn the keys to becoming a better public speaker. I can't believe how much I improved in just 3 weeks! David had the ability to coach the best out of me. Thank you!” ~ Rev. Renee Bledsoe
Fort Myers Professor Uses Coaching Skills To Help Others Win In Life. You Can Too. |
FORT MYERS, FL - September 14, 2010 - It's common knowledge that many elite professionals have utilized the services of coaches to help them excel personally and professionally in different areas of business, professional sports and other industries. In fact, American professional golfer, coach and writer Harvey Penick said about coaches, "I learn teaching from teachers. I learn golf from golfers. I learn winning from coaches."
The programs that Terri Heck completed are available through Life Coach Universe. The "Life Mastery/Life Coach Level 1" weekend workshop, led by Master Life Coach David Essel, is held at Fitness On The Move, located at 13010 Metro Parkway, in Fort Myers, FL. The next workshop will be held Saturday and Sunday, September 25th and 26th, from noon-6pm both days. The weekend intensive, plus the 30-day follow-up program, is offered at $850, which includes all course materials. David Essel M.S. is a Master Life and Business Coach and an author of five books. His practice offers clients assistance to reach life success in the areas of relationships, career, business, addiction recovery, health and wellness, and spirituality. He hosts "David Essel's Love Talk Live!" radio show every Sunday on WCKT 107.1 FM to talk with listeners about their relationships. He offers Life Coach Certification programs through his company www.LifeCoachUniverse.com. For additional information about David, please visit www.TalkDavid.com or call (941) 266-7676. |
WHAT'S THIS LIFE FOR: “Because The Answer Lies In You” I believe one of the best songwriting bands out today is a group called Creed. In their song What's This Life For, the line that always makes me think, states “because the answer lies in you.” Have you ever questioned what your life is really for? If we choose, we have the opportunity to reflect and look deeper at our purpose for being here when we are in despair. Maybe it was at the end of a love relationship. Maybe it was a thought that raced through your mind as you struggled one more time to get out of bed in the morning after another night of abusing alcohol. Or the thoughts of self doubt and frustration that arise when you look in the mirror and admit that your addiction to food is wreaking havoc in your life. If there is any time that we should seriously question, “What's this life for” . . . it is probably right now. Complacency with our existence can also be a sign that we need to question all that we are and all that we can be. Many of us never explore the incredible full potential that we have waiting inside, desiring to be released. I ask you to take a moment today to question your beliefs, to question your existence. It is through the asking of questions that we can break through our issues and problems and start to see that all of the answers we desire truly do reside within. The answers many times come as “feelings.” It just “feels” right to take a certain path of action. We may not know why, but it does. It feels right (if we quietly ask for help, and then listen for our own wisdom to come through) to move . . . to get help . . . to start looking for another job . . . to leave a relationship . . . to go back to Temple . . . or to start selling our numerous possessions or give them away. We must remember that the answers we desire so greatly are all within. Slow down. Sit in silence. Ask for guidance, ask for love. Then follow your heart. If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on. Love, peace, david http://www.davidessel.com |
