The caller was frantic.
"How do I talk to my boyfriend about how boring our sex life is? I want to do new things but I'm afraid he'll be hurt emotionally."
A very common concern in America, yet few people are willing to admit it!
Here are three key points that will allow you to broach this subject in a positive way.
1) Never talk about new sexual ideas or desires in bed! We feel way too vulnerable, and our partner may take it too personally. Bring this conversation up over coffee or while out driving in the car, or even on a long walk.
2) Always begin the conversation with points that you enjoy about your partner and your sex life, start with a positive. And yes even in a boring sex life there are things that are positive. If you have to go back a few years, tell them what you used to like that they did.
3) Now, the drum roll! Look for internet or magazine articles that you can refer to, regarding sexual toys, or different positions, etc. "Honey, I read this article about a couple who wanted to expand their sensual life, and they tried....fill in the blank......and loved it! I would love to talk with you about trying it too. Could we discuss this?"
We have worked with hundreds of couples over the past 25 years who have successfully expanded their sexual life, and deepened their love for each other at the same time.
For some we have recommended watching DVD's together...while others have read erotic stories to each other.
If we can help you, contact us at 941.266.7676 or visit http//www.davidessel.com
We are ready, when you are.