Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Biggest, silent, addiction today?

What do you think the biggest addiction facing the world today is? When we think of the word addiction, most of us go right to alcohol, or smoking, or drugs.

Yet, there is a bigger one, that is hidden amongst most of us, and unless you're around someone who is in treatment for it, you don't even consider it an addiction.


This addiction, kills more relationships, and stunts the potential of most of us in our attempt to live a peaceful life. Drama surrounds us, when we refuse to get help for this problem.

Slow down, love yourself enough, to ask for help.

Love, peace, david.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Experiencing God, through your lover.

Is it really possible, to experience God, the Divine, through your lover? Poets have suggested this to be true, since the beginning of time, but most of us would probably question such thoughts as fully unrealistic.

Our minds in many cases have fooled us into believing that the reality of experiencing God, is only for the chosen. The high priests, monks and mystics. We've been taught that this is only for sacred people, times and events, and , surely not for ourselves.

And never between myself, and my lover.

Watch this short video, as we explore this notion.

Let's slow down, and open our hearts for the reality of God, anywhere and everywhere.

Love, peace, david

The Choice to be Alone: A Positive decision


“GETTING BIG” with David Essel
(The following is an interview David did with Diana Holtzberg from Mind & Muscle Power Magazine)

“I think it is a sign of strength, power and confidence to consciously choose to walk your own path, pursue a dream and live a normal life. You can accomplish more, and have a more fulfilling life than those who feel they are a failure if they are not with another individual. Look at how many people jump from one relationship to the next throughout their whole lives, or remain in one because of the fear of aloneness.

If you are alone, ask yourself why? Do you feel comfortable being alone and maximize the time you have that is not being devoted to someone else? Are you doing something for your career growth, for yourself, for society? Because if you are not utilizing the extra time constructively, I think that is a sad waste. At certain periods in our life many of us are not ready to commit to a relationship or may not have found that person who is compatible for us. We should still be happy.

Having a fear of aloneness often is societally based, because it's society view that there must be something wrong with you. There is pressure from ads that show couples skipping down the beach. And of course there are familial pressures.

Some suffer from a personal fear of aloneness, and are uncomfortable or frightened to be alone for even a few hours. I believe this stems from a lack of knowing yourself and your own immense power and worth. These people run from their thoughts and internal dialogue, and cover it up with distractions like watching television, listening to the radio, eating food, making idle conversation on the phone that leads us nowhere, taking drugs, etc. are always out. If you were comfortable with yourself, you would be able to sit in silence.

The first thing I tell people who always have the television or music on when home alone is to become aware of their habits, because there is no way anything will change in your life if you aren't first aware. Here is an example: a female client said to me, I have no time for myself. And it was true. She was a single mother of two, and worked 60 hours a week. I asked her to count all the times that she said this to herself. It turned out to be 47 times a day. Well, if you say something to yourself so often, this creates a belief and you will find ways to sabotage your desire for time for yourself. After realizing she had all these negative thoughts, we did a time chart. If you don't know how fearful of being alone you are, start to chart what you do when you come home. If you find yourself immediately flipping on the radio, the television, or grabbing a phone . . . stop. You will begin to hear your true self emerge from within. Be patient. It takes time. And it should be comforting to know that everybody is, in fact, alone.

Meditating is a great way to relax when home alone. But for those who aren't into meditating, the Buddhist practice of mindfulness is less structured and also helpful. It can take place with the washing of a glass, where you focus on the warmth of the water, the slipperiness of the soap, the texture of the glass. Or when taking a shower, and you feel every zone of your body. Or when chopping vegetables and preparing a meal. As we incorporate this awareness during simple everyday activities, the mind automatically relaxes.

Regarding love relationships and their affect on health, most studies that have come out say that individuals who are happily committed in long-term relationships are healthier than those who are single in their later years. But a caveat is that those who are involved in communal activities with a lot of social interaction have similar health statistics to those in committed relationships, and their state of happiness, self-esteem and confidence should not be affected. Conversely, if an individual chooses to be alone due to a fear of commitment, or believing that they're not worthy enough for a relationship, this is a weakness and needs to be addressed.

Living without a sexual relationship is tough, although many people have learned about their bodies, sexual desires, and needs when they are alone. A woman just told me that she began pleasing herself sexually and found zones that she had never found in her 20-year marriage, and as she approaches a new relationship will now be more aware and sensually involved. Sexual aloneness gets a bad rap because human beings are meant to be intimate. But, looking on the bright side, we can use this aloneness to explore our sexuality and learn more about ourselves.”


If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Public Speaking & Communication Certification with David Essel

Date: January 20, 27, Feb 3, 10 (4 Week Course)
Time: Thursday's 6-9pm
Location: Edison State College
Instructor: David Essel, M.S.
Fee: $695 (includes materials) - ESC Student/Faculty $350
(Current ESC Students & Faculty receive a 50% discount)

Learn the art of presenting and public speaking from Internationally acclaimed Motivational Speaker, Author and Master Life Coach, David Essel. David's Public Speaking Certification course not only gives you techniques for sound and stimulating public speaking, but can help you build the confidence to do it with ease. From the elevator speech to the lecture hall, David will guide you through the processes that can help you tap into your innate ability to use your voice, your words and your passion to deliver your message in a way that will engage and enthrall your audiences, both large and small.

If you currently work in the world of non-profit, education, finance, healthcare or the service industries...this course will help take you and your organization to the next level. If you are looking for a career shift, David Essel's Public Speaking Certification through Edison State College is a powerful way to enhance your job prospecting opportunities.

David Essel has been a professional motivational speaker and presenter for over 24 years and is the author of, Slow Down: The Fastest Way to Get Everything You Want (Hay House Publishing 2004). His clients include fortune 500 companies such as Boeing, American Express, Nestle, Lifetime Television,
Chico's, March of Dimes and many more. David provides a unique opportunity to not only garner compelling speaking skills, but as a life coach he can help you break through the barriers that hold you back from getting your message out to the world!

To Register call Wendy Thompson (239) 489-9235 or email
Continuing Education, Edison State College

See What Graduates Have to Say...

"I wanted to let you know how rewarding and relevant your public speaking class was. Speaking in public has always intrigued me but I never thought much about putting my thoughts into action because I didn't feel I "owned" a topic, nor had the confidence to make it come to fruition. Today tells a different story. The thoughts of delivering a presentation that excites an audience is now something I look forward to. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas, strategies, skills, experience, etc. to allow us to focus on our strengths, gain confidence and have the ability to present to an audience a speech they will never forget! As always, your dedication, caring and knowledge mean so much!” With warmest regards, Joann M.


"This class was amazing and helped me deliver my very first presentation to a major statewide conference with confidence. David's approach helped me focus and learn the keys to becoming a better public speaker. I can't believe how much I improved in just 3 weeks! David had the ability to coach the best out of me. Thank you!” ~ Rev. Renee Bledsoe

“David Essel's destiny is to help you become more alive in every area of your life.” ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Friday, December 3, 2010

Liz Murray: An Amazing Story

If you do not know the Liz Murray story, you have to watch this brief video that I did, as I recall my interview with her.

Liz, gives hope to the millions struggling in life, and shows what can be done, when we decide to rise above our current challenges.

So, what is your move now? What can you do, where you are today, to rise above? Who can help?

Slow down, there is a solution, for every , challenge.

Love, peace, david.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Fort Myers Professor Helps Others: You Can Too

Fort Myers Professor Uses Coaching Skills To Help Others Win In Life. You Can Too.

FORT MYERS, FL - September 14, 2010 - It's common knowledge that many elite professionals have utilized the services of coaches to help them excel personally and professionally in different areas of business, professional sports and other industries. In fact, American professional golfer, coach and writer Harvey Penick said about coaches, "I learn teaching from teachers. I learn golf from golfers. I learn winning from coaches."

David EsselThe coach provides skills and techniques to help individuals focus and achieve their goals. They hold their clients accountable and support them by providing a safe place to explore new ideas. Through one-on-one or group sessions, clients learn and practice new found skills and techniques which can be used in all areas of life and business to help them reach the success they desire. Today's professionals, from the areas of psychology, information technology, mental health, marketing and even homemaking, are utilizing life coaching skills to enhance their life, their practice and the lives of their families and clients.

Terri Heck is a psychology professor at state college in Fort Myers, Florida. While she was studying to complete her psychology degree in Michigan, a mentor suggested she look into life coaching because he felt she would be successful in the field. After completing her studies, Terri focused on moving to Southwest Florida. The idea of coaching was always in the back of her mind.

One day, she heard Master Life Coach David Essel on the radio, talking with people on the air, addressing their life concerns. Soon, she found herself enrolling for the life coaching certification programs offered through the local state college and Life Coach Universe. To her surprise, she found a "deeper sense of herself and became more self aware" to make positive changes in her life and also help others make positive changes in their lives, leading to everyone's success.

One of the key points she learned from the program is to be mindful of resistance. It surprised her to learn that procrastination was a form of resistance to something deeper. For Terri, this was big news as she learned that procrastination was supported by underlying fears of failing or even fears of success.

"Resistance can show up so subtly, that we really need to be mindful of not only why we are or are not addressing something. Most importantly, once we recognize the resistance, it gives us a chance to get to the bottom of what we need to work on," Terri said. "It is empowering for me and others to allow each person to discover and determine the correct action to achieve success."

So, what does "winning" or "achieving success" mean to anyone? Well, that is something best defined by each person, purely according to one's desires. Yet, it appears, that regardless of the win or success one wishes to achieve, which may include moving past procrastination, writing that book you've always dreamed of, apply for a new job, losing weight or re-create the love in your relationship, it may be very attainable with the help of a coach and one's personal dedication to practicing some new found skills and techniques.

The programs that Terri Heck completed are available through Life Coach Universe. The "Life Mastery/Life Coach Level 1" weekend workshop, led by Master Life Coach David Essel, is held at Fitness On The Move, located at 13010 Metro Parkway, in Fort Myers, FL. The next workshop will be held Saturday and Sunday, September 25th and 26th, from noon-6pm both days. The weekend intensive, plus the 30-day follow-up program, is offered at $850, which includes all course materials.

David Essel M.S. is a Master Life and Business Coach and an author of five books. His practice offers clients assistance to reach life success in the areas of relationships, career, business, addiction recovery, health and wellness, and spirituality. He hosts "David Essel's Love Talk Live!" radio show every Sunday on WCKT 107.1 FM to talk with listeners about their relationships. He offers Life Coach Certification programs through his company For additional information about David, please visit or call (941) 266-7676.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What is this life for? To Grow. Read on.

WHAT'S THIS LIFE FOR: “Because The Answer Lies In You”

I believe one of the best songwriting bands out today is a group called Creed. In their song What's This Life For, the line that always makes me think, states “because the answer lies in you.”

Have you ever questioned what your life is really for? If we choose, we have the opportunity to reflect and look deeper at our purpose for being here when we are in despair. Maybe it was at the end of a love relationship. Maybe it was a thought that raced through your mind as you struggled one more time to get out of bed in the morning after another night of abusing alcohol. Or the thoughts of self doubt and frustration that arise when you look in the mirror and admit that your addiction to food is wreaking havoc in your life. If there is any time that we should seriously question, “What's this life for” . . . it is probably right now.

Complacency with our existence can also be a sign that we need to question all that we are and all that we can be. Many of us never explore the incredible full potential that we have waiting inside, desiring to be released. I ask you to take a moment today to question your beliefs, to question your existence.

It is through the asking of questions that we can break through our issues and problems and start to see that all of the answers we desire truly do reside within. The answers many times come as “feelings.” It just “feels” right to take a certain path of action. We may not know why, but it does. It feels right (if we quietly ask for help, and then listen for our own wisdom to come through) to move . . . to get help . . . to start looking for another job . . . to leave a relationship . . . to go back to Temple . . . or to start selling our numerous possessions or give them away. We must remember that the answers we desire so greatly are all within.

Slow down. Sit in silence. Ask for guidance, ask for love. Then follow your heart.

If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

Love, peace, david

Sunday, September 5, 2010

How does one find a mentor?

Mentors are an amazingly important tool for growth in our lives, and finding one should be a fairly effortless task.

Mentors can be found for our career, relationships, health, finances and spiritual paths. They can help dramatically to decrease our "learning curve" in life, so that we don't have to keep repeating the same errors over and over again.

Here's some tips that you can use right now, in order to find a mentor that is right for you. Watch, share.

Slow down, and reap the benefits of a strong mentor relationship today.

Love, david

Being in a relationship rocks. Here's why.

Many of my clients that work with me as their Relationship Coach, often wonder if being in a relationship is really worth it. I mean after all, they are sitting with someone because they are in distress. My work, with 99% of these clients, is to get to the bottom of the issues and return them to the love that brought them both together in the first place.

But, it's not always easy. Worth it? Yes. Easy? No. Watch this short video, to see why it is so important to do all that you can in order to save or enhance the current relationship that you are in. If you're single, this video is crucial for you to watch too.

Slow down, share love.

Love, david

Living a Stress Free Life. Here's how.

Yes, it is possible to live a life free of negative stress, to be stress free, although most of us never slow down enough to look for the steps to take to make this our reality.

We've been conditioned to believe that rushing, fretting and complaining about all that is not working well, is the way to muddle through our existence.

A number of years ago, I had the chance to listen to a lecture given by the spiritual teacher, Ram Dass. And, he literally blew me away with the following thoughts, that I recorded for you. Watch.

Slow down, start to believe in the concept of a life free of the stress that drives most of our lives. Yes, it is possible.

Love, david

Monday, August 23, 2010


" DAVID ESSEL'S LOVE TALK LIVE!" radio show is now ready to rock n roll your world of love! Every Sunday, from 10-11pm est, David will take your love and relationship calls and offer you the "REAL" proven advice to help you move into a better place in life. For more information, visit and read the show description below. Love, peace, David

Thursday 08-19-2010 12:05pm ET

David Essel’s Love Talk Live Radio Show Upcoming Discussion Topics Include:

· Pros/ Cons of Internet dating

· Divorce ~ Can you do it with class?

· Is it time to marry?

· How to heal from an affair

· Is he/she right for me?

· How to talk about sex with your partner

· What is sacred sexuality?

· Is there sex without kissing?

· Dating during a separation?

· What about dating in the workplace?

· Soul mates… are they real?

· How do you know you're even ready to date?

· Dealing with former partners

· Dating when you have children

· And more!


“David Essel’s destiny is to help you become more alive in every area of your life.”

~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

"David is THE radiant soul of radio. He is brilliant ,insightful and easy to listen to. David makes a real difference in his listeners’ lives."

~ Mark Victor Hansen, Co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series

“The energy and enthusiasm that abounds across the airwaves when David is on my radio show, listeners go directly to the pulse of Passion!”

~ Skylar Stone, Radio Talk Show Host of Romancing with Skylar Stone

We will rock America on the airwaves once again with Clear Channel Communications!

Love, peace, David

Hiring a Dating Coach? Is it time?

Many single men and women around the world have come to the conclusion that it's time to get some help, like hiring a dating coach, to increase their odds for success in the wacky world of dating.

If you're single, and tired of being alone, this may be the perfect move, and the right time, to do so.

A great coach will help you to get to the bottom of why:

1..we attract the same type of people that are not healthy for us

2..we hold on to the fantasy, vs the reality of love.

Just these two answers can set us free, and help us to find a partner that is right for who we are, right now.

Here's a brief excerpt from our website about hiring a dating/love coach.

" For those single individuals who are looking for love, David brings once again a very unique approach to the world of dating. "In order to attract a great partner, we must first remove the dating and relationship patterns from the past that have not worked. These can be seemingly hidden patterns, that are sabotaging our attempts at love. Once found and removed, we can instill new beliefs and approaches to the world of dating, offering fantastic end results", says David.

****Cathy, single for 6 years, had this to say about his dating coaching. "When David told me I had to let go of old dating patterns, and alter my beliefs about soul mates, and finding the perfect guy....I almost quit right there. I am so glad i didn't!!!! Oh my gosh! Eight weeks later, I had such a clear view of my patterns in love, removed them, and yes fell in love! I tell everyone, that without David's coaching, I would still be single and miserable. I am now married, for eight years, and so grateful I came to him for help. He knows his stuff. "

Slow down, for love.

Love, peace, David

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Do you want to save your marriage or relationship?

Do you want to save your marriage or love relationship? Are you confused at what to do next? Thousands of couples, at this very second, have no idea where to turn to get the effective help they need.

For over 20 years, we have been helping clients to save their marriage or relationship through our uniquely designed coaching program, that focuses on enhancing each of the individuals strengths, while diminishing and often totally removing their own challenges in the relationship.

While traditional marriage and relationship work has the couple in the sessions together, I believe that this type of work rarely brings about positive changes.

"I tell the couples that I work with, that it makes no sense to pay me and argue together during our sessions, they can do that at home for free", a smile appears on my face right now. "My work, after the initial session together, is to help each individual one on one. I do not believe in the traditional approach to couples work. We have been amazingly successful, because we do it so differently. "

****Here's what Brenda and Pete had to say about David's program. "We were exhausted in our relationship, and tired of the same old counseling sessions that had not worked over the past 15 years. In just 8 weeks with David, we saw an amazing shift! At week 16, we had rebuilt not only our trust in each other, but also the sparks of love we had years ago returned . Finally. David Essel's coaching is so good, we tell everyone about him."

David's sessions can be done in person in his office, or just as effectively, over the phone from anywhere in the world.

Has your love relationship hit a dead end"
Are the sparks gone?

Are you thinking about ending the relationship?

For 25 years Master Relationship Coach David Essel has helped thousands of couples to regain their initial love and save their relationship.

His incredibly unique system can help you do the same.

Mary and Ron said that their relationship became stronger, AFTER the affair, through their work with David.

Call Master Relationship Coach David Essel today..239 ..433..9111..

or visit

Slow down, let's create the success you desire together.

Love, david

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

What is Enlightenment? How do we get there?

So, what is this thing called enlightenment? it is such a huge topic, but there must always be a starting point, so let's do that right now.

Enlightenment, awakening, ascension, all are used to describe, the amazing state of non attachment.

Let's watch this video, to begin our journey.

With the proper intention, we can move mountains on our way to living a more bliss centered life.

Slow down, love yourself.

Love, peace, david

Friday, August 13, 2010

WWE Wrestling and Life: Illusion? Reality? Let's see

Many of us, including myself for many years, have looked at events like those arranged by WWE wrestling as fake, staged, illusionary entertainment where the wrestlers fake their injuries to the delight of fans.

But, what if many of the injuries were real? And in regards to our own life, what if many of the problems we have are self created, self exaggerated?

Watch this video, think.

What is illusion in your life, and what is real?

Love, peace, david

Monday, August 9, 2010

Women and Self Esteem: 3 Easy Steps

The evolution of our species continues to leave me baffled when it comes to self esteem, especially for women in our society today.

The pressure to look great, have passion, and contribute to society becomes overwhelming as I see women enter my office every week able to see only their flaws in life.

Watch this video as we offer 3 quick steps that any woman can use, today, to increase their sense of self, self love, self esteem.

Slow down, be the love you see in others.

Love, peace,

David Essel

Author, Radio/TV host, Master Life coach

Women and Self Esteem: 3 Easy Steps

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

As we go through challenging times in life, many clients will ask if there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel. When will they get a break? When will the stress end?

Sometimes, the stress becomes self created. We become what we think about, so if we focus on all of our challenges, we'll get even more more stressed.

Watch this brief video, to see how you can find the light, in your own tunnel of life.

Slow down, there is a light.

Love, peace, david

Dating before divorce? While separated? Let's see.

My client walks into the office and asks if there is a rulebook to dating before a divorce is final.

I look at him and laugh, he joins, and then we discuss the fact that yes there are unwritten rules that we should follow in the world of dating before a divorce is final.

Watch, share, think as we date.

Slow down in love.

Love, peace, david

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

"IT'S ALL GOOD???" Please, let's stop the insanity

"It's all good", she said as she sat across from me, trying to deflect the question about her husbands infidelity.

I have heard this phrase used thousands of times in my coaching work, and ask my clients to refrain using it. And here's why.

Our words, either move us forward in life, or hold us back.
Slow down, think, love.

Love, peace, david

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Social Drinking? Is it a problem? Let's see.

So, how do you know that your social drinking has become a problem in your life? Many people can have a drink or two, and there has never been a negative ramification.

While others, seem to have a shift in their emotional state, that affects their energy and relationships in a negative way, even after just 1 or 2 drinks. Let's watch this story of one woman who found out that her social drinking was causing issues in her life.

Slow down, think, shift, share this blog with your friends and family.

Love, peace, david

Sunday, July 11, 2010


— A Letter With A Different Perspective

The following letter was sent to us from Paul, a 28 year old male who may have more intuitive knowledge about this condition than most experts today. It doesn't mean that ADD is nonexistent, but like so many other "popular" conditions, it surely has to be over-hyped. We know our environment encourages us to act in certain ways and that the types of food, rest and exercise we get influences our behavior. The first step should be moving toward a whole foods/natural foods diet, eliminating sugar, caffeine, convenience foods, and additives like Nutrasweet. Check out the book mentioned by Breggin, as well as Ritalin Free Kids by Ullman, ADD: A Different Perspective by Hartman and Staying Healthy with Nutrition by Haas. Also, two great organizations to contact for information are The Option Institute (800-714-2779) and The Handle Institute (206-860-2665).

Dear David,

During a recent program, you were speaking with Peter R. Breggin, who wrote the book Talking Back to Ritalin and another book called Talking Back to Prozac. I have ordered the books for my mother and older sister to read. I am very concerned about my nephew (my sister's son) who is 13 and has been on Ritalin for a few years.

David, I'm confident that my nephew doesn't need this drug. I don't eve think he has ADD, but rather an easily frustrated mom with little patience and a diagnosis and treatment that are robbing him of his developmental growth. He is a lot like I was as a teenager. I'm 28 now, a musician and studio engineer/producer and extremely thankful for what I do. And, I can't live a life within the confines of a routine career. Some people can . . . I can't. So, I have run with that notion since I was a kid and explored many areas of things outside the "norm." I was always a good student, Dean's list all through college. I was involved in many extra curricular activities. You know the story . . artist, spontaneous, dare devil. Anyway, I was also a major challenge for my parents because I required a lot of stimuli to keep going. Without it I would channel that energy into just about anything, even trouble (which happened now and then). Still, I wasn't expecting anyone to PROVIDE me with the stimuli -- I just needed them to direct me, since I found stimuli everywhere around me in everything I saw. yes, I was a handful, but only in the sense that my parents had to be involved with me to keep me on a healthy path with my endeavors. My parents were able to keep me in line with true love and care (and a modest budget to boot!). I am so thankful for their guidance and their support. And most importantly, I'm most thankful that they didn't drug me with Ritalin or anything else. I probably deserved to be sedated from time to time (hah!), but we made it through.

My nephew is so much like me and this drug is poisoning him. One minute, he is the most excited, articulate kid, the next minute, after my sister forces the Ritalin on him (because he gets excited about something), he's a total zombie. I am crushed. And to make matters worse, she has two more beautiful young boys on the way up with similar, beautiful energy and I'm very afraid she'll take the same path with them instead of stepping up to the plate and providing them with the creative guidance they need. These boys have been blessed with remarkable brains full of great skill, and I want them to be able to develop it to its fullest potential.


If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

love, peace, david

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Looking Your Best Every Day: Here's Why.

Looking Your Best Today & Everyday

Have you ever thought about the times you've been out to eat that bring back the best memories?

I was asking a friend the other day this very question, to which she replied “When I felt and looked my best, I took out this very classy and sexy dress that I hadn't worn in years … and it was a fabulous evening.” As we continued talking I also found out that while it was a memorable night, she hadn't dressed like that for dinner in over two years.

The question that pops into my head after a conversation like that is why do we wait for a special night, like a holiday party or charity event, to wear our best clothes? When we dress in our finest attire, we not only lift our own spirits but oftentimes those around us as well.

There are so many excellent restaurants in our area, serving the finest of dishes on a daily basis. One of our local chefs wouldn't think about holding back from using his most expensive cutlery while making your next meal, or his finest piece of fish just because it’s a Tuesday eve, so why do we hold back on wearing our best jewelry or expensive suit when we venture out for our next meal?

There was an Internet letter that reached me recently that made a lasting impact.

The sister of a young woman in her 30’s who had recently died of cancer was going through her dresser to pack or give away her clothes. To her astonishment, she found gorgeous, silk lingerie that had never been worn. As she went to her sister’s closet, she found multiple pairs of high fashion shoes, barely touched. And hanger upon hanger of beautiful clothes she had never seen her wear. After leaving her house, she made a pact with herself to begin enjoying all of her favorite and rarely worn outfits everyday.

Let’s start today to live with more passion and joy. Do this by choosing your finest jewelry and clothing to wear out to your favorite restaurant, just because you can! Regardless if it’s a Monday or Saturday night, start making all your evenings out a special event. Men who dress with this attitude will find a new sense of energy as well. Remember, as you look and feel better, those out around you will pick up on your fun and playful attitude and feel better as well.

Don't wait, live a more exciting life today.

Love, Peace,

David Essel, M.S.
Author, Radio & Television Host, Lifestyle Coach

Friday, July 9, 2010

Think and Grow Rich. Really? Here's the truth.

One of my favorite books in the world of personal growth in Napoleon Hill's, Think and Grow Rich, however the title is completely misleading.

Like many, I was first drawn to it for the miracle it promised, at least in the title. But, if you read it thoroughly, you'll see that the truth is actually quite different than the hope it promises.

Watch this brief video to see what I mean.

I love the concept of personal growth, but real growth will always come with a price. And more often than not, it is fully worth the price we must pay.

Slow down, love, peace, David

Thursday, July 8, 2010



During a discussion recently, the topic regarding our need to follow our dreams came up. A woman had to decide if the challenge of working seven days a week for a twelve month period of time was worth the potential end result of creating the life and work she's always desired. Within one hour, the result from our caller survey was unanimous . . . 9 out of 10 people said it would be worth the risk. What about you? Would you be willing to commit to one year of this type of schedule to be doing what you've always wanted? Could you look at this situation creatively enough and devise a mental plan of attack where you could survive the demands of this type of a schedule? Realistically, what is 12 months of your life, if on average we live for 924 months?

I believe a lot of times we take the easier, "conforming" path in a life we forget just may be able to be filled with more excitement and joy if we are willing to make a few different sacrifices along the way. We fall victim to the belief that by doing what the "average" person would do is really the only way to play it. And I admit following your own journey and going after your dreams, which almost always means creating a nonconformist path, will ruffle a few feathers of those who want you to play it safe . . . be more normal. But the rewards in many cases are too great to pass up.

As an example, when we make the decision to go to school full-time and work full-time, we are able to create the confidence in ourselves that too few people seem to have, a confidence and exploration of our greatness that many never get a chance to experience. Search . Grow . Love . Express yourself.

If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

Monday, July 5, 2010

He's A Player! What do I do?

My client walks in recently, quickly starts explaining her insane week, then blurts out , "But David he's a player, what do I do?"

We had begun working together 3 months ago, with the focus on her spiritual path. Learning how to meditate, judging herself and others less often, were just a few of the amazing accomplishments she had made.

And then, she met HIM. An amazing guy, spiritual, open, free, who had helped his mom immensely on her passing recently. She had fallen quite quickly.

In one of their conversations, she had asked him if he was dating other women. He said yes. she was cool with that, as he had told her the truth.

Weeks go by, she wanted to go to a play, and had invited him. He told her he was not available, so she decided to push to find out why.

His answer, that he had plans to see someone else that nite, sent her reeling!

"So, what is a player I asked her?"

"Someone who sees a lot of women, and no one knows about it," she replies.

"Well, he does not fit that category, does he?"

There is a long pause....... "NO."

A longer pause.

"In the first 6 months of seeing him, it really did not bother me. Because of his honesty, I was actually ok with that. "

"What do you really feel, since it's not anger at him, since he's not a player according to your definition."

"I feel like I want to be in a committed relationship with him, but I'm afraid...he might"

Yes, we all are afraid of rejection. as my client left the office, I could see a beautiful shift. She was on her way to talk openly with him, just as he had over the past 6 months with her.

Stay tuned.

Slow down, be real, honest.

Love, David

Friday, July 2, 2010

Yoga for weight loss, stress reduction and more!

YOGA for weight loss, stress reduction and more!

Exercise to many means drudgery. Running, swimming and lifting weights have captured the hearts of the exercise addicts, but as of today only 30% of our population exercises often enough to receive health benefits. Yoga's rising popularity, though, may help encourage more people to begin taking care of their minds and bodies all at once. According to a Yoga Journal/Roper Poll, six million people currently practice Yoga and another seventeen million respondents say they are very interested in participating in this activity.

Fitness expert and video star Kathy Smith believes in totality, the power of Yoga. A practitioner for 24 years, she began using Yoga as a way to add balance and flexibility to her long distance running workouts in college. Consisting of deep breathing exercises, combined with particular poses (asanas) that are held from 25 seconds to 5 minutes each, Yoga embraces both relaxation and strengthening exercise to challenge the mind and body simultaneously. Listed below are Kathy's top eight benefits for people of any age who regularly participate in Yoga:

  • Reduction of stress and anxiety.
  • Feeling of being centered, focused.
  • Increase in muscle flexibility, decrease in lower back discomfort.
  • Increase in muscle definition, tone.
  • Reduction in injuries due to sports, exercise programs.
  • Increase in mobility as we age.
  • Better sleep patterns.
  • Increase in emotional bonding for couples.

Kathy also found some of the benefits of Yoga surprising to her. For instance, Yoga assisted in the delivery of her children, enhanced her own feeling of sensuality, helps her to stay calm in raising her children, and increases her energy levels and immune system functioning. She believes that anyone can benefit from Yoga by participating at least three days per week for 10 minutes each day. Her newest video Yoga Basics is the perfect match for the beginner.

In my book "Slow Down: The fastest way to get everything you want", Hay House, I tell the story of a top television producer who finally lost the weight he desired, after years of failed diets and exercise programs, through a 1 hour per day yoga routine!

If you are interested in any or all of the aforementioned benefits, this may be the perfect time to give Yoga a try. Open your mind to the potential that lies within this ancient practice and start enjoying the results immediately. Choose a class or video that is congruent with your current level of physical conditioning, as Yoga can be a gentle "walk in the park" or an extremely challenging form of mind/body exercise. If you are over 40 or currently have any health concerns, check with your physician before beginning any exercise program.

For more information on Yoga, check out the American Yoga Association web site.

If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

love, David

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Advanced Prayers For Ourselves

If there are to be major changes in our relationship with God, and ourselves, it will have to begin with the way we perform advanced prayers for ourselves.

Now, the way we describe this on this short video may surprise you. Praying for ourselves , in an advanced way, is much different than you could ever believe.

Watch, connect, deepen your prayer life now.

Slow down, share this video blog to help others too.

Love, peace, david

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Age , Dating, Love...Does it Really Matter?

Many people have believed for years in the belief that we should date people who are generally around our same age, in order for true love to flourish.

Do you believe this to be true? Do you know that there may be a pathway to love that many miss, because of the misconception around age, dating and love?

Watch this short video, to see what I mean.

Slow down, think, then open your mind to the possibilities that exist when we challenge our cultures views around age and dating.

love, peace, david

Monday, June 28, 2010

Tea: The Next Power Drink

Tea: The Next Power Drink

What the Far East has known for centuries has hit our shores with a bang heard across the United States: tea is an elixir for great health, now known as a power drink.

From Tufts University to the Institute for Cancer Prevention, thousands of medical papers have been published over the past 10 years attesting to the benefits of this beverage. Regardless if you like it hot or cold, the outcome seems to be the same: a healthier immune and circulatory system.

To set the record straight, green and black tea all come from the same tea plant. Green tea leaves are not fermented, rather they are simply steamed. Black tea goes through a different process, where these same leaves are crushed and then fermented.

In an interview for WebMD, tea researcher, John Weisburger, Ph.D., explains that the power in tea comes from the extensive amount of antioxidants in this drink. Antioxidants are chemicals within our bodies that detoxify the cell damaging “free radicals” that have been linked to everything from cancer to heart disease.

Some researches believe that the reason the Japanese and Chinese suffer from less heart disease, and even certain cancers than Americans, could be related to their high daily consumption of tea.

Experts like Dr. Weisburger recommend 6-10 cups of tea per day in order to achieve the maximum health benefits from this drink. Of course, the addition of milk, cream and substantial amounts of sugar to any tea drink may counteract some of the positive effects this beverage offers.

During the next visit to your favorite restaurant, ask your server about the variety of teas that they offer and begin to experiment with this soothing and healthy drink.

Drink Smart. Drink up. Drink tea daily.

Peace, Love,

David Essel, M.S.
Author, Radio & Television Host, Lifestyle Coach

Friday, June 25, 2010

Do You Want to be Really Successful? Here's how.

If we want to be successful in life, I mean really successful, we have to follow some really simply guidelines.

Successful people all know one thing and practice it daily.

It's simple, powerful, and works for as long as you use it. They follow the true definition of success. Watch this brief video on success to see what I mean.

If you follow this path, your success will go on forever. Share this with your friends and business partners. Let's all go to the next level of success together.

Slow down, love, peace, david

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Are You a Thermostat or a Thermometer? Let's See


One of my favorite motivational teachers over the years has been the late Earl Nightingale, one of the founders of the educational resource company, Nightingale-Conant. Earl had a wonderful way with analogies in life. One of his most memorable analogies was the thermostat/thermometer question.

So let me ask you, "Are you a thermostat or a thermometer?" The importance of this question may astound you!

A thermostat type person sets their own "temperature" so to speak. They are in control of their reactions to life and realize the importance of being able to regulate the amount of energy that they put out at any one time. If they are about to get involved in a "heated" argument, they understand the importance of "cooling down" their reaction to the situation. They have a wonderful understanding that no one can make them react, that it is their choice to respond in a way they choose. While no one is perfect, the "thermostat" type person is in control of their own "temperature" most of the time. Have you figured out what type of a person you are yet? Without even explaining what type of person a "thermometer" is yet, you can probably imagine where you fit in.

The "thermometer" type reacts almost entirely to outside influences. Their quality of life, their ability to have a good or a bad day depends on the events going on around them. They react instantly to these influences. A rainy day can easily bring them down. Constructive criticism can ruin a week for them. They fluctuate like the weather in Syracuse, NY (if you don't like it, wait 30 minutes because it will change!) up, down, cold, hot. They are known as "reactors". They have very little sense of control over how they act or so they would like you to believe!

However, anyone can change! It may be an effort consisting of small steps, but it can be done. Our goal should be to react more like the thermostat, able to enjoy life more because we deal with life using a small sense of control. Follow these steps to become a thermostat vs. a thermometer in your life:

  1. Write down the one or two areas where you need to show less reaction to outside influences that you allow to "get to you".

  2. Now, watch yourself change your reaction. In the past, you would have become upset or mad but now visualize yourself reacting as a thermostat in control of your behavior.

  3. Close your eyes and see yourself in that situation (in traffic, at work with your boss/co-workers, relationship issues, etc.).

  4. OPEN your eyes and smile at this first successful step.

  5. Carry this paper with you to reinforce this change.

  6. Do this for 30 consecutive days. Do not hesitate to find a counselor to discuss this situation with. Become the person that is already inside you waiting to be set free. Being the "thermostat" in life can bring you the energy and joy you've always been missing.

If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

Love, peace, david

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

60 years of Marriage: How do you do this?

So many of my friends have asked me how my parents, who just celebrated 60 years of marriage, did it.
Well. let's see what they had to say, about this question. 

Hi Dave, thanks for all the congrats from your friends. We don't know of any secret formula to  a happy and log lasting marriage.  It is what you make of it. Remember, 60 years  ago life was much simpler than today, but this is what we tried to live  by:
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and should be entered into with that in  mind.
You should truly care for your partner, treat them with respect and try to  make them happy.Decisions should be mutual.  If you cannot agree then agree to  disagree.  Do not hold a grudge.
You need to give each other space at  times. Absolutely no arguing in front of children. 
Be sure to understand your  partners position and discuss the problem and compromise when possible.
To  paraphase: Do unto your partner as you would have your partner do to you.If you  throw a rope over a house and each get on an end and pull you won't get  anyplace.  But if you both get on one end and pull you can accomplish your  goal.(this piece of advice came from Grandpa Loughlin)  Hope this helps, M&D
I love you so much mom and dad!!  the fact that you took the time to write this for my friends, and me

says everything about you both!

slow down, love, please share this with your friends, david 

60 Years of Marriage: How They Did It.

My mom  and dad just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary, and many people have 
asked me how they stayed married for 60 years. So, let's see what they had to say about this question.  

Hi DaveTell Cathy thanks for the congratsWe don't know of any secret formula to  a happy and log lasting marriage.  It is what you make of it.Remember, 60 years  ago life was much simpler than today, but this is what we tried to live  by.Marriage is a lifetime commitment and should be entered into with that in  mind.You should truly care for your partner, treat them with respect and try to  make them happy.Decisions should be mutual.  If you cannot agree then agree to  disagree.  Do not hold a grudge.You need to give each other space at  timesAbsolutely no arguing in front of childrenBe sure to understand your  partners position and discuss the problem and compromise when possible.To  paraphase: Do unto your partner as you would have your partner do to you.If you  throw a rope over a house and each get on an end and pull you won't get  anyplace.  But if you both get on one end and pull you can accomplish your  goal.(this piece of advice came from Grandpa Loughlin)  Hope this helps

Monday, June 14, 2010

WE Are All The Same: One. Hard to Accept.


In John Perkins' powerful book Shapeshifting: Shamanic Techniques for Global and Personal Transformation, a common thread that connected the shaman healers from several different countries that he worked with was the message that we all are the same, that all of us are equal regardless of our titles, position, wealth, health, attitudes, or religion. On the outside, this seems like a noble statement that many of us repeat and would like to believe, but on the inside I doubt that we truly think this is the reality. It is very hard to adopt this as the truth when in almost every society we promote the notion that some of us are better, more important than others.

At a recent business event where I spoke, I had presented this idea as one worthy of our discussion — that the benefits of breaking down the stereotypes of this “superiority” could be incredible, leading to improved morale and productivity in the workplace and a more enjoyable existence in the outside world. I mentioned how I have been attempting to consciously catch my thoughts of judgment regarding my role in society, let's say compared to a hotel maid. Erroneously, we have looked at people in the service industries with less respect, which is so sad and even hurtful to ourselves and the other person. For over 15 years now I have made it a personal mission to try and look into the eyes and smile at every hotel worker that I can, and in essence become them for a moment. Who knows what we could learn from anyone if we had the chance to sit as equals vs. the often accepted attitude that because one makes more money, or has an entitled position, that they are better than someone else.

After the lecture, an executive approached me and candidly said he has a hard time looking at a taxi driver as an equal. As one with an MBA and a salary exceeding $200,000 per year, I could sense he felt the need to believe, because he had pushed himself to succeed, that he was at a higher level than someone who took the lazy way out and drove others around for a living. I shared with him the story I go into detail about with the Korean taxi driver on my audio tape How to Stay Mentally Fit & Incredibly Productive. This driver was so deep, insightful and successful in more ways than I could have ever imagined had I not gotten into a fantastic conversation with him. That day opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at others. How could I look at him as someone less than me when he had so much to share? And on another trip, I had three different drivers, all between 35 and 60 with amazing backgrounds: a retired professor of philosophy, a person who sold his home to live on the beach and finally enjoy life with a job that gave him flexible hours, and a newly retired businessman who sold his company and wanted to stay mentally fresh by interacting with people daily. Yet, our first instinct is often to judge the taxi driver unfairly as one below us . . . one who is less than we are.

We all are the same. Searching for ourselves. The sooner we begin to accept all others equally, the sooner our world will turn into a brighter, more joyful place. Respect everyone, starting today.


If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

LOve, peace, david

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

An Amazing Story of Healing. Enjoy


The following letter describes so poignantly the power to heal that resides within, an amazing story of true healing, . . . just waiting to be coaxed to the surface and put to work. Read this letter at least twice. Toni's description of her experience really is beautifully written. As you look at your body today, I hope you'll take it less for granted and really appreciate all that we do have. Thank you Toni for opening our eyes to all that you have to teach us, including the importance of the human connections in one's life.

Dear David,

It's very interesting, this world we live in and how we all have our individual stories on God and our souls. I was an entertainer in the Atlantic City area for all of my days and singing for a living can appear more glamorous than it really is. You can find yourself walking down the wrong paths many, many times. Until God says that was your last wrong turn.

One day I woke up and I could no longer feel my legs . . . interesting, since I kind of need them to sing and dance. I became "Dorothy" kind of like the Wizard of Oz character and I would almost become this character for about 3 months. Within 24 hours I would be paralyzed and pretty much blind. Not very cool. I felt like I was swept up in a big tornado and when I landed I was in a hospital bed . . . diagnosis Multiple Sclerosis. Soooo here's where life get real interesting. I had the coolest doctor in the whole land of Oz. He taught me imaging. I would picture myself Perfect. I also met a lot of characters along the way. Since I was soooo afraid I had to educate myself, that's where the Scarecrow came in. I needed a Brain, so i could learn everything I could to fight this stupid thing. Next, I needed Courage, I could never take another step again or face the world without Courage. Enter you know who, The Old Cowardly Lion. And finally I met up with the Tin Man, the very most important character. He taught me Love and Happiness and everything that is Positive. It's been 12 years, I walk, I run, I work . . . I LIVE and you know what ? I can't have a bad day. I just can't have a bad day anymore. I got a new lease on life and I'm living it, happily ever after, somewhere over the rainbow.

Thanks David for sharing positive thoughts and spiritual energy . . . have a beautiful life's journey my friend.

Toni Bocelle


If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Mental Alertness, Spirituality, through Aromatherapy


To help us stay alert, cut down on our errors and be more productive, we need to be open minded to techniques that we may not be familiar with, such as Aromatherapy. Aromatherapy is taken from the Greek words "aroma" meaning spice and "therapy," meaning healing. Using the powerful fragrances extracted from plants and flowers, it is possible to stimulate different physiological reactions.

To connect more closely with God, try frankincense, or myrrh. Inhale, go within, let go.

In the magazine EXEC, a study in Japan was discussed in which the results were quite spectacular. The scent of lemon decreased workers' errors by 54% and when Jasmine was used, mistakes decreased by 33%. Whether you are studying for a test, reading business material or just trying to catch up with the pile of month old magazines in your living room, using scents makes sense! Jasmine and lemon both have stimulating properties that may make concentration a little easier.

Make sure you use pure essential oils with your diffuser. These products are available at most health food stores. Any products that are listed as "essence of . . ." are not essential oils and may not bring to you the effect you desire.


If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

Love, peace, david

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Advanced Prayers for Others, May Surprise You

An advanced form of prayers for others, does not always come in the way we might expect, and could actually surprise you.

The most challenging form of prayer though, could also be the kind that frees you from bondage, the bondage of the small ego.

Watch this short video, to see what we are referring to.

Slow down, use this type of prayer daily, and share it with others.

Love, peace, david

Can You Date Multiple People, and be Healthy?

The following short video was created after one of my clients came to me to discuss this very question: is it healthy, sane , to try and date more than one person at a time?

Watch, share this with people you know.

For some, dating several people at once, allows them to slow down, before jumping into a serious relationship. For others, it creates chaos.

Love, share, peace, david

Monday, May 24, 2010

Addictions: An Absolute Pathway to God

The fact that addictions are a path to God, to experiencing the divine, comes as a shock to many. Shocking or not, it is the truth!

Watch this brief video, to get the real facts about addictions, and why so many people struggle with them.

Slow down, share this blog with as many people as possible, to add reason to addiction. Then, we can follow a path to be free, in recovery, and live to our highest potential.

love, peace, david

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Fear of Failure: Is it stopping you? Read on to see.


Whenever I speak with or interview successful and exciting people, I always walk away with a sense of awe regarding their lack of fear in their pursuit of a worthy goal. Yet, I wonder if the fear of failure for most of us is the biggest obstacle in our attempt to live a life that is more fulfilling and joyful.

This fear of failing at any personal or professional endeavor can be so strong that we sit on the "sidelines" of life, watching other people playing their best game. The phrases "I wish I had their confidence . . . their life . . . their money . . . their relationships . . . their faith" continue to surface as we long for an existence that is full of energy and meaning. And yet, if we examine the road we've taken to get us to where we are today, I wonder if it is full of decisions that we've made to minimize the chance to fail rather than one in which we've tried to maximize the chances to be more successful. Do you see the immense difference here? People who are playing life "safe" are handcuffed, partially immobilized by the fear of how they may be judged by others if their quest doesn't turn out the way they had hoped. On the other hand, those who are trying to maximize their lives are looking for opportunities to excite them, stretch them, make them show up and take the exciting chances that life has to offer. And please don't confuse these people with blind risk takers. Quite the contrary. Many of these successful people are far from daredevils. Maybe their relationship is so strong because they chose someone based on an internal connection rather than choosing someone who others would approve of. They looked past race, color, religion, and chose someone they knew they could love at the deepest possible level.

Evaluate your life and determine today if your fear of failure is the one obstacle that you must learn to release so that the life of energy and joy you desire becomes reality.


If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.

love, peace, david