Saturday, June 27, 2009

What is the cause of our daily struggles and challenges?..

The cause of our suffering, our daily struggles and challenges in life can be easily linked to the Second Noble Truth of Buddhism : "Our suffering is caused by our cravings, our desire that life be different than it is at this moment." (Paraphrased by this writer).

Isn't this the simple truth? We suffer, we become unhappy on a daily basis, because life , our partner, our money, our career, our health, our faith is not what we hoped it might be at this time in our life. Period.

It is amazing how much drama and crisis we create because life is not what we think it should be. "Life", by the way, could care less what we want, or what we desire. "Life" is just doing it's job, being itself, and very happy at this very moment I might add.

In my conversations with so many people, when it gets down to the truth, they will often say things like, "if my husband would just quit drinking......if I just had more money....if I had been raised by a sane parent.....if I only had a partner...if God would just for once answer my prayers....if men were'nt all dogs...if I could just lose 30 pounds...". Of course the list is endless, but you get the picture.

We have the audacity to think that if life was just different than it is at this moment, we'd be happy. What a line of crap! I say this with sincere respect to all who think life would be a piece of cake if this one thing was different, because until we get to the root of craving, of the addiction to our desires, nothing will ever make us happy for any length of time.

How do I know this to be true? Because, I too have struggled with the concept of true and lasting inner peace. And what continues to raise it's little head is the fact that once this "one" little desire that we have is fulfilled, we'll find another issue that needs to be resolved to be "truly" happy. It's an endless cycle, or so it seems to be.

"Well, yes, my husband finally quit drinking, but I just wish he'd find a way to earn a decent income." And the list begins to build all over again.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's totally appropriate and healthy to have desires to improve our place in life. The problem arises when we crave the desire, and put our happiness on the back of getting that desire fulfilled. We truly will never find lasting happiness, as long as it depends on something outside of what we have right now. In this very moment.

It seems that all of the greatest teachers in this world, from Buddha, to Christ and more have all preached the same thing. " Be happy where you are at this very moment, accept where you are at this very moment, and happiness, peace, Heaven, bliss, will be at your door. "

Slow down.Find a way to experience peace right here, in this moment , right now.

Pray, meditate, write a gratitude list. Be present.

Love, peace, David Essel

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Divine, Music, and Steely Dan

If you've ever wondered what the combination of The Divine and music would look and sound like, you will experience it in person by attending a Steely Dan concert or listening to one of their many CD's. Heaven on earth has occured through the gifts of these amazing musicians.

Of course this is not the only band it will occur through, but I must say they have tapped into the source of all creativity, some would call this source God, as they take the stage. It is such a transcending experience, one that I just had occur to me tonite.

I have always been a huge fan of Steely Dan, but had never seen them live. As they took the stage, I knew something special was about to occur. Without the addition of alcohol or drugs,and within 5 minutes, I could feel the tears start to form, my body filled with the energy of spirit , as the 10 musicians and singers who back up founders Walter Becker and Donald Fagan began to merge into one. Horns, keyboards, drums, guitars, and 3 backup female singers all somehow merging into one powerful form that was impossible to decipher at points who was doing what. Seemingly impossible arrangements made effortless by these 12 angels of music, stirring the heart , soul and body until everyone was moving , clapping, simply mesmerized by the beauty of it all.

As my emotion poured out, I consciously connected with all that was occuring , and that's when it hit me. This was an example of The Divine, earthbound, moving us in the direction of onneness, love, through music.

Now if we are not looking for God on earth, we would go to any concert and simply experience a good concert. If, however, we dare to look for the Divine everywhere, we shall find Her in a concert hall filled with Steely Dan fans.(Or fill in your favorite group here, S>D> does not have a lock on the God experience as far as I know.)

"Look and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open..", yes, look for the Divine in music, and you just might find Him in your favorite Steely Dan song.Feel your emotions well up, laugh , sing, shout , clap as the entire hall was doing tonite. A mass of humans in sync, expressing the joy of this transcendent experience together. Pure love in motion.

Rock on God, rock on.

Slow down.

Love, peace, David Essel

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Failing In Order to Succeed

One of the greatest facts in life is that if we truly desire success, we're going to have to accept failure as a part of the process of being successful. For many in the new thought world, who want to simply keep their mind on "positive thinking", this will be blasphemy. Yet, it is the truth.

As a motivational speaker and author, I can tell you that I too fought this truth for many, many years. Until one day, I simply surrendered to the fact that failing is a part of the process of living. . A part of life. And , proof that I am truly living. For if I do attempt something and fail, at least I know I'm out there doing something to improve my life.

In love, dating, dating, and more dating, regardless how many times it takes, can lead us to the beautiful depths of love. Playing it safe never can lead us anywhere but where we are. In business, taking chances, risks is inevitable in order to grow a business or career. With our health, staying at home where it's safe will continue giving you the body you have right now, but taking a risk and going to a gym when you are out of shape will give you the best shot at changing your body to one you love.

Praying and not receiving the answer you want, is so much better than not praying at all! Letting go of alcohol, smoking, or overeating for the 100th time is so much better than giving up! Yes, Virginia, there is success after failing, but there is no further success possible without trying.

Look at your life right now, and write down what you'd love to see changed. What one change would bring the greatest happiness and success into your life? Now, what risks do you need to take on a daily basis to go after this change? Write down those steps and take them 5 days per week. Risk to grow, risk to succeed.

Do not delay. Do not wait for a better time in your life to go after what you truly want. Read about the people before us who have achieved great things, and what they had to go through to accomplish their goals. For anyone in life who has created the deepest of love, millions of dollars, or an amazing body, there was an equal outlay of effort on their part. Let's join their team and create success, by risking the potential of failure in order to succeed in life.

Slow down.

Love, peace, David Essel

Friday, June 12, 2009

Tears of Love, Tears of Growth

As my client walks his girlfriend through the airport to her gate, she turns to say how excited she is to explore a new city, and sees tears rolling down his face.She had no idea these were tears of love, tears of personal growth.

Her questioning goes unanswered, as he can't seem to pull it together to explain what he is feeling. All he knows is that he's in great pain, and wants it to stop.He tries to smile, to say that he's really going to miss her, but the words just get stuck in his throat.

As the time nears for her to go, she tells him that everything will be alright, and that she'll be back in a week and the time will just fly. He nods his head, but his heart won't have any of this rationalization, the rationalization of feelings. His love has gotten so deep, so fast he thinks, that maybe he's just crazy. Or worse, a total wimp.

He sits in front of me the very next day, ashamed that the tears keep coming. I counsel him to let them flow, if it takes an hour, it takes an hour, just let them flow. Ten minutes later, his face is beaming as he tells me how much he loves her. How happy he is that she gets to travel to explore another new city on a regular basis, as this is the fuel that keeps her creativity and passion for life flowing.

All he needed to get to this newfound joy, was to have someone allow him to cry. To feel the depth of love and express it. He just needed someone to say it's ok for men to feel deeply, to miss someone deeply, and to express this in tears. That's all he needed.

It's been a while now since her last trip, and the relationship has blossomed deeper than they could have ever imagined. She joined him for one of our sessions, and sat in shock as he told her, with tears in his eyes, how much he missed her on all of her past trips. How deeply he loved her. As instructed, her role was simply to sit with him, say nothing, and accept his tears as a beautiful form of love. Within minutes, because she could not tell him to stop, or that everything would be ok, she began to feel the depth that he was expressing from, and tears just streamed down her face.

She finally felt the deepest love she could have ever imagined feeling.

For most of us in life, we've been taught to stay away from the pain associated with feeling the depths of our emotions. Well meaning moms,dads and lovers who try to get their children or partners to stop crying when they are afraid, or sad, do so because they do not want to feel the other persons pain.

Instead of sitting with a child or lover who is in discomfort, holding them while they cry, we do the worst thing imaginable.

We say things like,"It's all going to be ok....stop crying, everything will be better's not really that bad, you're just making it seem bigger than it is."

Let's go in a new direction starting today. Sit with their pain. Don't discard it, don't blow it off. Like my clients girlfriend, you might have to learn how to feel deeper than you ever have, by simply being quite and sitting with the discomfort. I know if you do this, you will begin to experience life at a whole new level. An amazingly beautiful level. One where true love resides.

To reach new heights of personal growth, let your tears flow. Let someone elses tears flow. Let tears of love be shared with those you really care for.

Slow down.

Love, peace David Essel

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Free Addiction Recovery Workshop

July 26th, Sunday from 1pm to 3pm.

Join David for a 2-hour introductory session to his holistic addiction recovery program to find out more about how you can recover your life!

Location: Church of Spiritual Light, located at 1939 Park Meadows Dr., Unit #1, Fort Myers, FL 33907
Cost: Free of charge
Register: Contact or call (239) 433-9111.

The face of addiction is ever changing, and the shame of admitting that we even have an addiction of any type keeps millions of people in the USA chained to habits, substances and behaviors that keeps them from living a joyful happy and successful life for years and years. Through the power of our life coaching program, this does not have to be the case anymore.

David helps to create a total mind, body, spirit based recovery system for each individual based on their specific needs and circumstances. Nutrition, spiritual practices, exercise, emotional support systems and even financial management are all included to ensure the ultimate success for each individual.

David's own recovery began in 1996, and continues to this very day. And in his own words, will joyously continue to be a part of his daily routine for the rest of his life. He uses the word "joyously", as he has seen the impossible happen. Where once he could not have imagined a day without alcohol or drug use,  he now enthusiastically approaches each day with passion and wonder, and helps others to do the same. Over the past 20 years, David has helped thousands of people become free of every type of addiction imaginable, including but not limited to :

+ Alcohol Addiction
+ Drugs & Substances such as cocaine, marijuana, nicotine & prescription
+ Relationships & Codependency
+ Sex/masturbation
+ Power/Career
+ Self Image & Esteem Issues
+ Food
+ Persistent or Returning Negative Thoughts & Attitude
+ Attachment, phobia and repression

David has experienced both traditional and non traditional forms of recovery, and is blessed to be able to offer his clients a unique combination of both in his uniquely crafted recovery program. The reasons behind addiction to substances, negative thinking, sex, food, greed, wealth, shopping or control may be similar or vastly different between the clients he has worked with over the years, but the path to freedom will be the same for all. Self knowledge, surrender, education, action, and application combined with an open mind.  

David can help you learn how to:
+ Build a deeper spiritual foundation
+ Deal with crisis and chaos
+ Manage stress
+ Overcome Procrastination
+ Improve Communication at home or work
+ Heal from the loss of a love relationship
+ Rebuild after divorce or loss of a love relationship

Click for more information on David Essel's Holistic Recovery Programs.