Are you fully immersed in life, or is it slowly slipping away from you?
Have you opened yourself up to the absolute beauty, the divinity that you are, or are you still in a place of self judgement?
Have you ripped open your heart, so wide as to love someone like you never have before? Fully vulnerable, fully transparent? Or in some way are you playing it safe? Not sharing your vulnerabilities, feelings, fears?
Have you pushed yourself to love someone back, accepting their quirks or small irritating habits, allowing them to be who they are?
Have you shared with them recently, that you love all of them?
Is it time to go after a new career, a new life, yet you feel filled with fear about the timing to do so?
Is it time to move, to experience life at a new level?
Is it time to devote yourself to God, but are fearful of how that might affect how others view you?
Is it time to let go of habits and addictions that have imprisoned you, yet you're afraid of what life might be like without these crutches? Like food, spending, alcohol, cigarettes ?
Slow down, and begin to experience the life you were meant to live. Do it now. with passion. With gusto. Right at this very second.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Lacking The Female Orgasm: Taking Responsibilty
On my last blogtalkradio show, www.blogtalkradio.com/davidessel , I discussed an email that I received from a woman blaming her partner for her lack of reaching an orgasm during their intimate moments. Because this issue has been brought to my attention many times over the years in my work as a Relationship Coach, I wanted to create a space here to help those in a similar situation.
The cause of disappointment in women who do not reach orgasm in their intimate relations lies in one of three causes:
1. ) they do not know their body and it's sensual/sexual needs, or
2.) they have not shared with their partner exactly how they desire/need to be pleased, or
3.) they have in detail on multiple occasions shown their partner how to explicitly please them, but their partner is insensitive to these needs.
If you fall into category 3, which is an extremely rare event in the cases I have worked with but one that many woman feel they are a part of, get into counseling yesterday.
If you fall into category 2, which has a huge fan base it seems as it by far is where almost every woman I have worked with over the years resides, who fail to reach orgasm with their partner, here's great news. This is easily remedied if you want it to be. Unfortunately, many woman say they want to have this part of their relationship fixed, but they do not want to do the work I am about to propose.
The reason for this is that they have a subconscious desire to stay unfulfilled. They are able to wrestle some power from their male partner by being able to say to their close friends that he just can;t please her. Sad, but true.
It also allows her to stay away from the deep , vulnerable intimacy that occurs when a couple is trying to heal sexual issues. If she really wanted to explore her needs, both emotional and physical with a partner, she would have to become fully open, honest and transparent in bed. She would have to direct him, with words and action. If she carries any shame or guilt around sex, she might find this too scary to do. In this case, it's time to get help.
"He should know how to please a woman", is the excuse many make so that they don't have to go deep in intimacy.
If you fall into category 2, please follow this exercise. Write a story to your partner describing how you would love to have your needs , both emotional and physical, met. When it gets to your sexual needs, be highly detailed and explicit. Break all of your previously held notions about what a woman should or should not say about her sexual needs, and just go for it. This should be fun for you to do, and if it is written with love, as in a fantasy/reality world, he should love reading it too. Everyone wins.
Hey women!!! Men cannot read minds!!! Help us out!!
If you fall into category one, begin to explore your body today, by yourself. Get lotions, vibrators and toys to see what different pressure and speeds feel like. When you know what it takes to bring you to an orgasm by yourself, re read the above exercise.
Slow down and explore the wonders of reaching your sexual orgasm with your partner. Drop the blame, and go towards deep love and intimacy today.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
The cause of disappointment in women who do not reach orgasm in their intimate relations lies in one of three causes:
1. ) they do not know their body and it's sensual/sexual needs, or
2.) they have not shared with their partner exactly how they desire/need to be pleased, or
3.) they have in detail on multiple occasions shown their partner how to explicitly please them, but their partner is insensitive to these needs.
If you fall into category 3, which is an extremely rare event in the cases I have worked with but one that many woman feel they are a part of, get into counseling yesterday.
If you fall into category 2, which has a huge fan base it seems as it by far is where almost every woman I have worked with over the years resides, who fail to reach orgasm with their partner, here's great news. This is easily remedied if you want it to be. Unfortunately, many woman say they want to have this part of their relationship fixed, but they do not want to do the work I am about to propose.
The reason for this is that they have a subconscious desire to stay unfulfilled. They are able to wrestle some power from their male partner by being able to say to their close friends that he just can;t please her. Sad, but true.
It also allows her to stay away from the deep , vulnerable intimacy that occurs when a couple is trying to heal sexual issues. If she really wanted to explore her needs, both emotional and physical with a partner, she would have to become fully open, honest and transparent in bed. She would have to direct him, with words and action. If she carries any shame or guilt around sex, she might find this too scary to do. In this case, it's time to get help.
"He should know how to please a woman", is the excuse many make so that they don't have to go deep in intimacy.
If you fall into category 2, please follow this exercise. Write a story to your partner describing how you would love to have your needs , both emotional and physical, met. When it gets to your sexual needs, be highly detailed and explicit. Break all of your previously held notions about what a woman should or should not say about her sexual needs, and just go for it. This should be fun for you to do, and if it is written with love, as in a fantasy/reality world, he should love reading it too. Everyone wins.
Hey women!!! Men cannot read minds!!! Help us out!!
If you fall into category one, begin to explore your body today, by yourself. Get lotions, vibrators and toys to see what different pressure and speeds feel like. When you know what it takes to bring you to an orgasm by yourself, re read the above exercise.
Slow down and explore the wonders of reaching your sexual orgasm with your partner. Drop the blame, and go towards deep love and intimacy today.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
Creating the life you want: Part 2
Here are a few comments about creating the life you truly want.
"Surrendering to the will of God and the Will of the universe is the only way, aligning your will with these two will bring peace of mind and heart. Also knowing that sometimes there is redirection afoot as well which is trying to guide you to be doing something else, that is maybe critical to the long term goal is also important. The most important thing is never make it about you, in doing so the only thing we will create is blockages."
"I find great solace in going directly to God, in my awe of all that He has given me in life. Like your friend, I too have struggled, well I think the regular world would say that, in manifesting alot of money as I use my gifts to assist others. My peace comes from reading about people in the Bible who were given great gifts, yet had a hard time making it in the material world. Yet, they left others feeling better about themselves. Maybe some of us were'nt meant to have it all, maybe we should just live in gratitude for what we do have, regardless of how big, or little. Sounds good to me!"
"My path is filled with great gifts and great financial abundance, for at least the past 10 years. As I look at my life today, my gifts are here, but the finances are gone. Tell your friend to focus on the gifts, then he can help others no matter what his finances are today or in the future. "
My friend responds to the above responses.
"I have followed David's career for the past 10 years, and have been amazed at his attitude towards life regardless of what he has gone through. I came to him in my current situation because I needed to talk to someone i trust.....I did not need a rah rah session. When he asked if he could blog about this, i said sure, and now i know why. I needed everyone's feedback here, to help me see the prioritiy in life:, God, and His plan. I'll let go now, and follow His will. Trusting that the lessons learned, with or without the money i want will help me to help others. And in the world of resl estate, there are alot of people to help. " Jim
Slow down and trust in life, in God.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
"Surrendering to the will of God and the Will of the universe is the only way, aligning your will with these two will bring peace of mind and heart. Also knowing that sometimes there is redirection afoot as well which is trying to guide you to be doing something else, that is maybe critical to the long term goal is also important. The most important thing is never make it about you, in doing so the only thing we will create is blockages."
"I find great solace in going directly to God, in my awe of all that He has given me in life. Like your friend, I too have struggled, well I think the regular world would say that, in manifesting alot of money as I use my gifts to assist others. My peace comes from reading about people in the Bible who were given great gifts, yet had a hard time making it in the material world. Yet, they left others feeling better about themselves. Maybe some of us were'nt meant to have it all, maybe we should just live in gratitude for what we do have, regardless of how big, or little. Sounds good to me!"
"My path is filled with great gifts and great financial abundance, for at least the past 10 years. As I look at my life today, my gifts are here, but the finances are gone. Tell your friend to focus on the gifts, then he can help others no matter what his finances are today or in the future. "
My friend responds to the above responses.
"I have followed David's career for the past 10 years, and have been amazed at his attitude towards life regardless of what he has gone through. I came to him in my current situation because I needed to talk to someone i trust.....I did not need a rah rah session. When he asked if he could blog about this, i said sure, and now i know why. I needed everyone's feedback here, to help me see the prioritiy in life:, God, and His plan. I'll let go now, and follow His will. Trusting that the lessons learned, with or without the money i want will help me to help others. And in the world of resl estate, there are alot of people to help. " Jim
Slow down and trust in life, in God.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
How do we create the life that we want?
In all of the work that I do, and have done, the question "how do we create the life that we want?" seems to be the theme of my clients lives. In my Life Coach Certification classes, we explore the human need to accomplish goals and create a path in order to do just that.
However, even with the most up to date plans and intentions, there are often periods in our lives where life just does not seem to be going our way. We can visualize success , we can join mastermind groups, we can attend seminars and read more and more books, yet we don't see any tangible evidence for our work.
A very good friend of mine with amazing business talents was sitting in front of me recently lamenting this very situation. "How, with all of the gifts God has given me, could I be in a business that I am so passionate about, that is not growing? After all of the planning, praying and work, could I be struggling so deeply? How can I create the life I desire, when everything is at a standstill?"
His questions reminded me of the lives of Abraham Lincoln and others who struggled greatly on their personal path to success and contentment in life.
As I looked at his plans, and discussed the work he has done leading up to this very point in his life, I saw the answer quite clearly.
There was no human, no worldly answer for his situation. Yes , great people can hang out on the vine to dry with seeming no rhyme or reason for it. And yes , there is a reason for it, although the reason will not make sense to our material world.
Many people have spoken a great truth when they said, "I guess it's on God's timeline , not mine." If you believe in God as I do, and as my friend does, this somehow is supposed to make us feel a little better. We still have to continue to move forward in faith, knowing that there must be great lessons for us to learn in the process of slowing down, of knowing that there is a greater plan for us than we could possible know at this very moment.
Faith, resolve and trust can be greatly enhanced when we use them to their full extent when we are frustrated by the lack of success in life.
Depending where we are on our spiritual path, is how we react to life when we are not getting it the way we think it should happen. If we are deeply into the path of love, trust and faith, we'll go to doubt but for a short period of time. We might become frustrated for a day or even a week, then we'll surrender to "what is." We'll release the python grip that we've created on life with our expectations, and start to flow with, rather than fight, the life we are living.
We might surrender and spend a day in prayer, asking for the power to accept the things we cannot change. We might get out of our heads, and fill our minds with gratitude for all that is going well, as we become what we focus on all day.
By following these two simple yet powerful steps, we create the life that we want instantly, as we have just created a moment, hour or day of inner peace. Wow, what a beautiful experience.
Acceptance is not a cowards way out of life, but rather the path of the spiritual master.
Slow down today and find the life that you want to create sitting right in front of you. Look for love, peace and you will find your world there. Look for doubt and worry, and you'll find your world there as well.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
However, even with the most up to date plans and intentions, there are often periods in our lives where life just does not seem to be going our way. We can visualize success , we can join mastermind groups, we can attend seminars and read more and more books, yet we don't see any tangible evidence for our work.
A very good friend of mine with amazing business talents was sitting in front of me recently lamenting this very situation. "How, with all of the gifts God has given me, could I be in a business that I am so passionate about, that is not growing? After all of the planning, praying and work, could I be struggling so deeply? How can I create the life I desire, when everything is at a standstill?"
His questions reminded me of the lives of Abraham Lincoln and others who struggled greatly on their personal path to success and contentment in life.
As I looked at his plans, and discussed the work he has done leading up to this very point in his life, I saw the answer quite clearly.
There was no human, no worldly answer for his situation. Yes , great people can hang out on the vine to dry with seeming no rhyme or reason for it. And yes , there is a reason for it, although the reason will not make sense to our material world.
Many people have spoken a great truth when they said, "I guess it's on God's timeline , not mine." If you believe in God as I do, and as my friend does, this somehow is supposed to make us feel a little better. We still have to continue to move forward in faith, knowing that there must be great lessons for us to learn in the process of slowing down, of knowing that there is a greater plan for us than we could possible know at this very moment.
Faith, resolve and trust can be greatly enhanced when we use them to their full extent when we are frustrated by the lack of success in life.
Depending where we are on our spiritual path, is how we react to life when we are not getting it the way we think it should happen. If we are deeply into the path of love, trust and faith, we'll go to doubt but for a short period of time. We might become frustrated for a day or even a week, then we'll surrender to "what is." We'll release the python grip that we've created on life with our expectations, and start to flow with, rather than fight, the life we are living.
We might surrender and spend a day in prayer, asking for the power to accept the things we cannot change. We might get out of our heads, and fill our minds with gratitude for all that is going well, as we become what we focus on all day.
By following these two simple yet powerful steps, we create the life that we want instantly, as we have just created a moment, hour or day of inner peace. Wow, what a beautiful experience.
Acceptance is not a cowards way out of life, but rather the path of the spiritual master.
Slow down today and find the life that you want to create sitting right in front of you. Look for love, peace and you will find your world there. Look for doubt and worry, and you'll find your world there as well.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Religion: Unification or Separation?
To those bound by religion, religion separates. One person will create the idea that their way is the only way to God, and try to push others into their own belief systems. "If you don't believe what I believe, you're going to hell." I received an email the other day from a very good friend telling me this, and it was a sad experience for me, not because it was true, but because now there is a separation in her mind between us.
I still love her, in my heart, not just in these words that you are reading. Most times when someone sends an email like this, they'll end it with "I love you". But can they really love you if they're telling you that you are now dammed for life? HMMMMMM..................
Religion, as I have said for years, is one of the greatest causes of lack, hate, distrust and judgement that this earth has ever known. As evidenced by the above reference. And, for those who are on a religious path that includes acceptance and true love, religion is the experience of heaven on earth.
I love all that I have learned in all the religions I have been exposed too, and find my relationship with God growing every day. Let's use the beauty of religion to unify, not separate.
Slow down, and find the bliss of love for yourself and others on your path today. Then, act in that loving way to everyone free of judgement.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
I still love her, in my heart, not just in these words that you are reading. Most times when someone sends an email like this, they'll end it with "I love you". But can they really love you if they're telling you that you are now dammed for life? HMMMMMM..................
Religion, as I have said for years, is one of the greatest causes of lack, hate, distrust and judgement that this earth has ever known. As evidenced by the above reference. And, for those who are on a religious path that includes acceptance and true love, religion is the experience of heaven on earth.
I love all that I have learned in all the religions I have been exposed too, and find my relationship with God growing every day. Let's use the beauty of religion to unify, not separate.
Slow down, and find the bliss of love for yourself and others on your path today. Then, act in that loving way to everyone free of judgement.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Path of One Minister Who Honors All Faiths
After a church sermon one Sunday, a new member of our congregation asked me how I became an All Faiths Minister. When it happened again last Sunday, I knew it was time to share this story hopefully as a way to break down the separatism between religions, and open a doorway for God, Love, to shine on us all.
I believe in the future , the trend will only get larger where more ministers will want to be able to attend to people who come from a variety of faiths in life. A goal of mine is to somehow use the gifts of ministry to positively affect the lives of those in our congregation and any other congregations I am blessed to address as well as hospitals, or those in recovery and treatment centers, who come from a different faith than myself, or even no faith at all.
As an All Faith Minister, I want to use the gift of love to assist everyone on their path to personal growth, and if they choose, their walk with God. By having even a minimal understanding of different faiths, ministers such as myself can be of the greatest service to everyone, and even help those who are trying to find the walk with God they feel most comfortable with.
My personal walk with God began in the Catholic Church where I served as an altar boy for many years. My aunt Rita, sister Regina, is a nun with over 70 years of dedicated service, so my beginnings were definitely influenced by my Catholic upbringing. Like many people, I left the church when I was old enough to make my own decisions, and quite frankly never believed I'd go back to these beginnings. The church at that time seemed too steeped in traditions from the past, and my short attention span needed something more interesting to keep me on path.
Years passed and then I was introduced to Buddhism, and the unbelievable beauty of meditation. My yearning was quenched for several years as I delved into the Four Noble Truths and other powerful Buddhist teachings. I learned more deeply about the beauty of God within, and fell in love with this way of life, this amazing religion.
Then I was introduced to Hinduism, and my enthusiasm for religion reached an all time high. I began to follow the path of Bhakti, a path to God that is filled with daily devotion and prayer to God! Singing God's praise at every turn of the day, my energy for God increased dramatically. . Reading Hindu quotes, scriptures and writings whenever a moment opened in my daily schedule became my love for life.
As I delved into these religions, I became more in love with life.........which brought me back to my Catholic upbringing. I went to a mass a number of years ago, and fell in love all over again with what I enjoyed as an altar boy: the rituals of the Catholic Mass. To this day I still love them.
When I was asked to lead my first church service in a non denominational church several years ago, I was ecstatic to realize that I could use all of these teachings to assist the congregation to experience the Divine within, the God that resides in each of us. As it is so beautifully stated in the bible,"Made in His image"(Genesis 1:26).
My path then took the most amazing turn of all, one I relish to this day. I was asked to lead a congregation as a temporary minister, and the fire was lit. That led me to becoming the co-founder of The Church of Spiritual Light, an All Faith congregation in Fort Myers, Florida. As my path continues, I find myself once again, becoming immersed in the power of ritual, the words of Christ, the power of enthusiastic prayer which once again has filled me with the fire of love, the path of God, as we ascend to higher levels of awakening. Awakening to the realization that we all have free will, to find God within, and to spread that energy, that love, to all around us through our daily actions. I feel even more in love with God now than ever before.
I love to read writings from all types of spiritual masters: monks, rabbis, nuns, priests and more, and am about to begin a class on Kabbalah, the mystical arm of Judaism. I daily read scripture from the bible and look for the love that resides in everyone, the God within each of us.
Slow down and find love, God, in all you do as we respect the faiths that surround us.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
I believe in the future , the trend will only get larger where more ministers will want to be able to attend to people who come from a variety of faiths in life. A goal of mine is to somehow use the gifts of ministry to positively affect the lives of those in our congregation and any other congregations I am blessed to address as well as hospitals, or those in recovery and treatment centers, who come from a different faith than myself, or even no faith at all.
As an All Faith Minister, I want to use the gift of love to assist everyone on their path to personal growth, and if they choose, their walk with God. By having even a minimal understanding of different faiths, ministers such as myself can be of the greatest service to everyone, and even help those who are trying to find the walk with God they feel most comfortable with.
My personal walk with God began in the Catholic Church where I served as an altar boy for many years. My aunt Rita, sister Regina, is a nun with over 70 years of dedicated service, so my beginnings were definitely influenced by my Catholic upbringing. Like many people, I left the church when I was old enough to make my own decisions, and quite frankly never believed I'd go back to these beginnings. The church at that time seemed too steeped in traditions from the past, and my short attention span needed something more interesting to keep me on path.
Years passed and then I was introduced to Buddhism, and the unbelievable beauty of meditation. My yearning was quenched for several years as I delved into the Four Noble Truths and other powerful Buddhist teachings. I learned more deeply about the beauty of God within, and fell in love with this way of life, this amazing religion.
Then I was introduced to Hinduism, and my enthusiasm for religion reached an all time high. I began to follow the path of Bhakti, a path to God that is filled with daily devotion and prayer to God! Singing God's praise at every turn of the day, my energy for God increased dramatically. . Reading Hindu quotes, scriptures and writings whenever a moment opened in my daily schedule became my love for life.
As I delved into these religions, I became more in love with life.........which brought me back to my Catholic upbringing. I went to a mass a number of years ago, and fell in love all over again with what I enjoyed as an altar boy: the rituals of the Catholic Mass. To this day I still love them.
When I was asked to lead my first church service in a non denominational church several years ago, I was ecstatic to realize that I could use all of these teachings to assist the congregation to experience the Divine within, the God that resides in each of us. As it is so beautifully stated in the bible,"Made in His image"(Genesis 1:26).
My path then took the most amazing turn of all, one I relish to this day. I was asked to lead a congregation as a temporary minister, and the fire was lit. That led me to becoming the co-founder of The Church of Spiritual Light, an All Faith congregation in Fort Myers, Florida. As my path continues, I find myself once again, becoming immersed in the power of ritual, the words of Christ, the power of enthusiastic prayer which once again has filled me with the fire of love, the path of God, as we ascend to higher levels of awakening. Awakening to the realization that we all have free will, to find God within, and to spread that energy, that love, to all around us through our daily actions. I feel even more in love with God now than ever before.
I love to read writings from all types of spiritual masters: monks, rabbis, nuns, priests and more, and am about to begin a class on Kabbalah, the mystical arm of Judaism. I daily read scripture from the bible and look for the love that resides in everyone, the God within each of us.
Slow down and find love, God, in all you do as we respect the faiths that surround us.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Men in Love: Standing in the Fire
As I sat down to begin the men's group that I lead every week, I received a call from a client expressing his gratitude for the work we have recently done that is saving his love relationship. In a nutshell, he has been learning how to stand "in the fire " of love.
For most men, this is an extremely foreign concept as we were never taught what it truly means to be a man in a deep love relationship. One who is willing to be the pillar of strength at times, especially those times when his partner needs his power the most. Let me explain.
Ben had started to do sessions with me to help him deal with his girlfriends "erratic emotional reactions" during arguments. While he loved her and wanted to be with her, he wasn't sure he could handle her intense emotional periods of tears, anger, and often threats of ending the relationship.
At first glance, many would say leave, you do not deserve this craziness. But if he had, he would have missed the role he played in getting her to this emotional level, and probably would have repeated the same patterns in his next love affair.
You see, Ben was doing what most men do when their partner gets emotionally riled up: they try to solve their partners upset. And this my friends, is EXACTLY the opposite of what needs to be done. Many women who are in an emotionally upset state, need no solving, no fixing. they simply need to express, vent, release. Pure and simple.
So every time Ben noticed that his girlfriend was getting more hysterical, I asked him to think about what his previous words, actions or emotions were doing. and every time it was the same thing: he was trying to logically solve her upset. It will never work.
What most women need, through the experiences I have had with working with women in my practice, is the ability to be expressive without feeling like they need to be fixed. They need to be able to see that their partner can handle a certain amount of their emotional release, stand in the fire with them, and then let go. They want to know that their man will not shrink from their emotional release, but rather stand there and accept it at least momentarily. After this trust is built and the release is over, they can then listen to logic, but not a moment before.
Ben's reaction to me was comical. "You've got to be kidding, just stand there and take it?". Yes, as the saying goes, take it like a man.
It worked, just like magic. Over the past 6 months, his love has deepened, and the frequency of their emotional blowups has diminished to almost nothing. His girlfriend is showering him with affection and love daily, as she sees that he can handle so much more than he ever did in the past. With her trust high, she feels protected, and doesn't need to go to extremes as she knows he'll listen without the need to fix.
Slow down and create the path for your partner to trust your power, your emotional fortitude, and watch your bond deepen in love.
Love, peace Rev. David www.davidessel.com
For most men, this is an extremely foreign concept as we were never taught what it truly means to be a man in a deep love relationship. One who is willing to be the pillar of strength at times, especially those times when his partner needs his power the most. Let me explain.
Ben had started to do sessions with me to help him deal with his girlfriends "erratic emotional reactions" during arguments. While he loved her and wanted to be with her, he wasn't sure he could handle her intense emotional periods of tears, anger, and often threats of ending the relationship.
At first glance, many would say leave, you do not deserve this craziness. But if he had, he would have missed the role he played in getting her to this emotional level, and probably would have repeated the same patterns in his next love affair.
You see, Ben was doing what most men do when their partner gets emotionally riled up: they try to solve their partners upset. And this my friends, is EXACTLY the opposite of what needs to be done. Many women who are in an emotionally upset state, need no solving, no fixing. they simply need to express, vent, release. Pure and simple.
So every time Ben noticed that his girlfriend was getting more hysterical, I asked him to think about what his previous words, actions or emotions were doing. and every time it was the same thing: he was trying to logically solve her upset. It will never work.
What most women need, through the experiences I have had with working with women in my practice, is the ability to be expressive without feeling like they need to be fixed. They need to be able to see that their partner can handle a certain amount of their emotional release, stand in the fire with them, and then let go. They want to know that their man will not shrink from their emotional release, but rather stand there and accept it at least momentarily. After this trust is built and the release is over, they can then listen to logic, but not a moment before.
Ben's reaction to me was comical. "You've got to be kidding, just stand there and take it?". Yes, as the saying goes, take it like a man.
It worked, just like magic. Over the past 6 months, his love has deepened, and the frequency of their emotional blowups has diminished to almost nothing. His girlfriend is showering him with affection and love daily, as she sees that he can handle so much more than he ever did in the past. With her trust high, she feels protected, and doesn't need to go to extremes as she knows he'll listen without the need to fix.
Slow down and create the path for your partner to trust your power, your emotional fortitude, and watch your bond deepen in love.
Love, peace Rev. David www.davidessel.com
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