Thursday, June 26, 2008

Dealing With Financial Adversity

A client who I have worked with on and off for years sat in front of me today in despair, shock and sadness. Another seeming catastrophe had just been laid upon his lap, and he was not sure he could handle more.

Over these years, he has experienced great success, but in his eyes, fleeting, the type of success that brings short term joy, as it has been then followed by more and more challenges.

So now, the 4 homes are gone. His job was just eliminated, no severance pay, 30 days worth of savings, with no idea of where to turn to get back on track with his career.

And, are you ready for this? He's also trying to recover from his bankruptcy of last year...meaning he has no credit reserves to help him out.

He knows he's not the only one in this situation, but it brings little solace to his racing mind.

So he comes to me for the answers, which in turn I give back to him and ask him in the next 5 minutes to come up with a plan to solve his situation. As a coach, my job is to help people uncover the immense wisdom that they have inside, just ready to come out.

Here's what he devised:
1 Pray more every morning and nite, to be guided on what to do next each day.
2 Have his resume updated in 48 hours.
3 Email 5 people a day and ask them for contacts that he can approach with his new resume.
4 Get back in the gym for 30 minute workouts each day.
5 Write out his gratitude list each day for what he is thankful for.
6 Write each day to the contacts he receives , asking for information about job openings that they might have.
7 Ask for assistance from his friends, feedback, and to be held accountable to his own search.
8 See if any of his friends need help or support in their lives..give back daily.

I'd say he;s on his way to a totally new life...and I'm so happy to see the wisdom he had within.

Slow Down.

Love, Peace, David Essel

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Law Abiding Citizens

We never think it will happen to us..the pure..the innocent...the law abiding citizens of Lee County.

Until it does.

After stopping at a drugstore on 41 by Bell Tower Shops at 11.15am, I walked out to get into my car to see another car, in a totally empty lot, parked right next to me. As I walked across the front of my car to reach for the driver side, a woman jumps out of the back seat on the passenger side, and just stares at me.

Shocked, it was so surreal, I just stood there. She mumbles something about people not wanting to give directions, and I see her face is agitated, she's wired to the max..strung out on something. I can feel that jacked energy as I work with people regularly who are trying to beat addictions.

I still don't get the fact, or make the correlation, that she's robbing me, until, she jumps into her car and floors it into reverse.

I then jump in my car and look for my cell phone...gone. My check book, cash, gone.

I jump out of the car and run 5 steps towards her as she hits the gas and screams out of the parking lot.

Still shocked, I give chase to try at least to get her license plate. Now, I'm easily as wired as she is, adrenalin pumping...mad as I could ever imagine.

I come across 3 deputies, tell my story and 2 take off looking for her.

The odds are next to zero the money, $300 cell phone, checkbook, $400 gps system, or day planner with important phone numbers will ever be found.

And 99% of this was an error on my part. For the only time in the past 4 years, 4 years!!!!!, I did not lock my car. I was in the store for 5 minutes max, and violated emotionally and physically.

As an alpha male, a Life Coach, I want justice to be served, jail time served...I want her caught now. Lessons need to be learned.

As a minister and co founder of Church of Spiritual Light, a church right here in Fort Myers, I want her caught too. I want her to get into treatment. I would work with her absolutely for free. I want her in our church this Sunday, joining our service. I want justice served, in a different way.

You see , along with all that she stole from me, to feed her habit, she also took my peanut butter sandwich, and 3 apples. She must be starving.

The hole in an addict, or alcoholics body can never be filled with drugs or alcohol, because the pit is unfillable. You cannot quench the physical urge for the drug, without a powerful program of recovery. . That's why people like this women will do the unthinkable, rob someone in broad daylight, on one of the busiest roads around, to try and get enough money for a fix, or drink.

Heck, housewives do it too, sneak behind their husbands back and hide the money spent on alcohol.

Businessmen do it too, using their business expense accounts to get their fill of drinks each week. And, it's socially acceptable, but still stealing.

So, let's pray that this woman gets into a treatment program in some way..soon.

Thank you for your prayers for her...and please always lock your car doors.

Love, Peace, David Essel

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Living a Powerful, Real, Congruent Life

Living a life that truly is powerful, and abundant, is much more than having financial independence...although that can be a beautiful thing.

It's also much more than having a perfect body, although there are great benefits to being in shape.

The number one key to living a powerful, abundant life has to do with the answer to this one question: Are you living congruently?

Living congruently can be described quite simply through this statement:

When your thoughts beliefs and actions are in alignment, you are living a congruent life. Soooo, are you living congruently?

For a very long time, I was not. So I know this topic quite well.

Even though I was an inspirational speaker, and radio/ tv host on the topics of motivation, health and more, I fell into the addiction known as alcoholism.

There was no way I could live congruently as long as I was using alcohol in my life. So, I made the choice to get my life back into alignment, and you can too.

Just keep asking the question, are my thoughts, beliefs and actions about my health, my relationships, my career, my money, sex, food, alcohol, nicotine, spirituality all in alignment????

If they are, rock on. If not, decide today to do what I did, reach out to those around you and ask for help. You will be shocked at how amazing your life can be, when you stop lying to yourself, stop living in denial, and start living congruently.

Life may not turn around perfectly overnight, but the end result is so, so, so well worth it.

Slow Down.
Love, Peace, David Essel

Monday, June 16, 2008

Men in Amazing, Intimate Relationships

On a recent Fox tv segment I was asked to share what I thought were the keys that men could follow in order to create powerful, intimate relationships.

Over the past 16 years, I have had the chance to work with both men and their partners on this very topic. In addition to working with hundreds of clients who desired deep intimacy, I also reflected on the changes I have made over the years that have had an impact on the type of relationships I have been in.

Every man who has created deep, powerful, intimate relationships has done so by:

1). Becoming more involved in decision making at home. This may seem mundane, even trivial, but every woman I've worked with has complained that their partners were not involved enough in items like the choice of foods they ate as a family, as well as actually being a part of the planning for weekend trips or annual vacations. When men showed a greater interest in areas of the relationship like these two, women felt more secure, cared for and yes even loved.

2). Healing their relationships with their mother and/or father. Yes, the core relationships with our parents is a key indicator of healthy, deep intimate relationships with the women in men's lives. If men have feelings of resentment, anger or even ongoing jealousy towards their mother or father, their level of intimacy with women may be deeply affected. Forgiveness, towards themselves for holding these resentments, as well as towards their parents, whether they are alive or not, opens their hearts to a deeper capacity to love. And as most of us know, this often is assisted greatly through the help of a therapist, minister or coach.

3). Listen more, talk less. The ability to listen with empathy to their girlfriend or wives fears, dreams, insecurities or concerns without having to offer an answer to anything said, unless their partner specifically asks for an answer, ranks very high on the lists of most women wanting a deeper relationship with their male partner.

4). Begin the process of releasing addictions. Addictions to men totally away from intimacy. Depth, true depth of love, honesty, empathy and more cannot be accomplished while active in addiction of any kind. The beginning of the surrender of any addiction however can be a huge portal to deeper love.

While there are many more avenues to deeper intimacy for men, this is a beautiful place to start.

Slow Down.

Love, Peace, David

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Every Woman is a Goddess, Yet few know this....

" It's True That Every Woman Is A Goddess...It's Just So Sad Few Truly Realize This." David Essel

I have yet to meet a woman in my lifetime who is not an amazing Goddess at heart....inside...yet the above quote says it all....very few women know this and act as if they are.

I wrote a blog on this subject at and was amazed when I finished it how many women said YES WE ARE!!!!.....yet when I asked them aloud how many of their female friends knew this and lived this way, the response was minuscule in nature.

Women are powerful ,intuitive, compassionate, sensitive, strong , fearless, tender, nurturing..all by nature, it just comes from who they are inside, yet they often live quite differently.

They're fierce when provoked, and soothing when they need to be....they are true beauty in every sense of the word.

When they realize they are a Goddess, they cease the trivial traits associated with many women gossip, being evasive in their thoughts and desires....they instead become these amazing beings who you can't wait to be around.

I am blessed to be surrounded by women who are Goddesses and have no fear being just that.

Women who can look deeply into your eyes....who love their femininity, are proud to have their nails done if this makes THEMSELVES feel special.

One such woman the other day, a former client of mine, came up to me and proudly stated that she's finally loving her body, which had been a source of contention her whole life. Just the way she walked towards me , her posture, her strut, let me know something major had shifted.

She's finally become the Goddess she always had been , only now the whole world can see it.

Slow Down and appreciate the Goddess within if you're a women. If you're a man, it's time we awaken to the God inspired beauty of every women who's on this planet at this very moment, and let them know the inspiration they truly are.

Love, Peace, David