Recently I was asked a very important question regarding what some of the most important qualities that women who were in deep loving relationships do on a regular basis.
In other words, what are they doing daily that draws their partners TOWARDS themselves, deeply, intimately....versus the traits that many women have that actually push their lovers away.
While I could come up with 1,000 things that women can do regarding this topic, let's look at 4 of the most important, just like we did with the blog here that I wrote about men and intimacy last month.
1) Release Gossip: the last thing your partner wants to hear about when he sees you every night, or each weekend, is "how frustrated you are that Jenny went out with that loser John, the one that totally used Mary 2 years ago and never called her after 4 dates, the guy has no class, my girlfriends deserve classy guys" ...type of nonsense. If you want to see your man zone out , and be less interested in communicating with you, share all the gossip you want with him. Women who have mastered intimacy have realized that gossip is truly for "the bottom feeders of life",
and that nothing good ever comes out of spreading the stuff around.
2) Release Interrupting Your Partner: So you want great communication with your lover. You want to hear his true deep feelings. You want him to open up to you about everything....and yet when he does begin to talk to you, you constantly interrupt him. Just as he's sharing something that he feels strongly about, you begin "but that's not what I meant...let me explain it...you don't understand..." and the interruptions go on and on. If you wonder why your man has left your relationship emotionally and doesn't share much with you, this can be a major reason why.
Women who truly get intimacy, have learned to sit and listen, to let their man talk, for minutes in a row, allowing him to express and show his emotions without shutting him down with their flurry of interruptions.
3) Release Addictions: This is a huge issue that absolutely blocks deep intimacy. If a women avoids her feelings in life, by shopping, spending, smoking, drinking, emotionally eating....she's telling her partner in non verbal ways that she's not able to go deep intimacy. Women who truly want to go after the deepest union with their partner know that they cannot run from their emotions through any substance or addiction. They realize that facing their addiction and getting help for it will open the deepest avenue for intimacy, as when they can face their own challenges, they become more trustworthy to their partner. Hence, their partner will WANT to go deeper in love with them.
4) Initiate Sex More Often: Yes, even though men are taught to be the aggressor sexually, and society reinforces this belief, women who want to go to deeper levels of love, or intimacy, are on the front lines with this one already. They"re willing to face rejection, they're willing to take the risks, they're willing to be the wonderful seductress to add a spark of excitement to their relationship.
Ok, now to everyone who reads these points and gets upset, saying that they can do the opposite of what is published here because they are a "woman", who communicates through gossip, who interrupts because their man simply doesn't get it, who escapes through shopping or whatever because they are entitled to and who would rarely initiate sex because that's the man's role...all I can say is good luck. And if your experiencing the most amazingly deep and intimate relationship with their man, more power to you. Do not change a thing.
To everyone else, I know these deep yet simple steps will bring you to a whole new level of love and intimacy.
Slow Down, and enjoy your new life, with your new man...he may be the same man you've been with for a while,
but it will seem brand new as you alter your life, which will alter your love.
Love, Peace, David Essel www.talkdavid.com