The Most Important Thought For The Day

The most powerful, or at the very least, ONE of the most powerful quotes I have ever read is one of the simplest….yet profound.

“WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT ALL DAY LONG.”

It is said that this quote originated from Buddha, but I cannot verify that as true or not. All I know is that by making this our Daily mantra, we can literally change our world and begin to live in more joy, peace and success everyday.

Begin today to pay attention to each thought…Hold onto to the ones that are life affirming, and release the ones that are filled with doubt, resentment, anger or insecurity.

If we do this today and everyday, magic can occur. Slow Down.

Love,Peace, David www.talkdavid.com

An 8 year old finds a unique path to sleep………

I could not wait to share this story about how one little 8 year old boy finally found a way to fall asleep at nite. One of my coaching clients was looking for a way to de-stress from his high pressured career. I had recommended meditation, and offered him one of my cds, No More Stress(soon to be retitled Shift your Energy through Meditation) to work with over the next few weeks.

One day after picking his son up from an after school activity, the young boy pressed the cd button in the car and my meditation cd came on…with my voice gently taking one deep into a meditative state. The boy proclaimed to his father how weird that cd sounded, as he was expecting some type of music, and asked him to get that crazy sound out of the car. His father just laughed, turned the cd off and nothing else was said.

Several weeks passed, and one day my client was looking for the cd and it was nowhere to be found. He asked his wife, who had not seen it either, and was perplexed as to where it had gone. When he went into the kitchen to locate the portable cd sound system to take to his room, he found that missing too. As he walked by his young sons room, he see’s the cd system and asks why it’s in the room and not in the kithcen where it normally is.

His son then explains that he’s been using the meditative cd every nite as it relaxes him and it’s the only way he can fall asleep!!…Amazing!!…An 8 year old boy gravitated intuitively to what many adults know but do not act upon…the power of meditation as a tool to relax and fall asleep with.

I laughed, smiled and generally felt so happy for this young man……he overcame his intial reaction to something he was unfamiliar with…and now uses something “weird”, as a program for his own health and healing. We adults could learn something profound by his actions…=)…Love,Peace, David www.talkdavid.com

Amazing Success Story -Part 2-The Plan

I’ve been asked by hundreds of people after seeing my client Tracy’s success, so how did she do it? What was the plan? So I thought I’d do a very brief outline of what entails my work in the category of an Extreme Mind and Body Makeover…

My clients committ to this 5 day per week “lifestyle bootcamp” for a minimum of 8 weeks. The purpose is to re create their lives…to help them remember the beauty, power and gifts they have been given. For those clients who live by me , we meet for an hour a day in person 5 days per week. For my clients who live in another city , all of our sessions are done via phone. (For these clients, we select a personal trainer by them, who guides them in my weight training program 20 minutes a day in a gym , 5 days per week.)

Every day we work on the blocks that are holding these clients back. These coaching sessions are usually between 30 and 45 minutes in length, 5 days a week, with very brief writing sessions that are done as a follow up to each meeting. Depending on the client, the sessions will look at his/her goals in every area of their lives, and the beliefs they have created that are holding them back. In Tracy and every other client I have taken through this process, the findings and the results are simply unbelievable. These brief writing sessions uncover amazing nuggets of truth that we use to set a proactive plan in writing with to help them to finally achieve their goals. With actual steps to follow that really do work. From relationships to weight loss to making more money to finding a new career to deepening one’s spiritual path…we truly do cover it all.

The weight training consists of using the “super slow method of training”, which to me by far is the most effective way anyone can train for the most amazing results. I was first introduced to this in 1986 by Dr. Wayne Westcott, and then again in 2000 by Joe Cirulli. After seeing remarkable results with my own body, I started using it with clients and found that EVERYONE of them had amazing results too. And, it’s only 20 min /day, 5 days per week.

I also ask that these clients, on their own time begin with 30 minutes of aerobic exercise , and build it slowly up to 45-60 minutes 5 days per week.

I know the success of this program is based on it’s balanced approach to all areas of our lives, and the desire for my clients to radically change their lives for the better. And do you know what?…You can do it too!!…=)…Love, Peace, David www.talkdavid.com

ct a personal trainer in their area to work with them 5 days per week, 20 min per day is all that is needed. )

An Amazing Success Story…..

Oh my heavens…If you have not seen the photo’s and read the blog of my client Tracy, and experienced vicariously at least her amazing transformation, please do so today. www.talkdavid.com Scroll down our home page and see what I mean.

From the physical perspective, she is a different person. Tracy, in just 8 short weeks lost 26 pounds and dropped 7% body fat. As her husband, mother and kids have all commented, she does’nt even look like the “old Tracy”. They all have commented on how great it is to have the REAL Tracy back.

But this transformation is so much more than physical, and I should know as I worked with her for 5 days per week for 8 straight weeks, one hour per day. Tracy simply blossomed. She worked incredibly hard ,not just with the exercise portion, but with all of the personal growth work we did too. You see, unlike so many weight loss programs , we delved everyday into her belief systems, the ones she had about herself, her husband, and yes even her children.

As Tracy did the writing exercises I gave her, and came in each day truly willing to work on her challenges, the beliefs she had created that were holding her back, a new world began to open to her. Her marriage “magically” improved. Her dialogue with her children changed, offering at first challenges, then later rewards. She found a new faith in her spiritual path and went after it full blast. She began to open up to everyone in the gym, Fitness on The Move, meeting new people everyday which led to an increase in her self confidence. She became such an influence there, that she even asked for , and received , the oppurtunity to become a staff member!!!

And the coolest thing about this story is that ANYONE who truly desires to change their life can. All it really takes is desire…desire to do the work…the desire to look inside, and to celebrate our strengths while at the same time admitting to our challenges.

Slow down today and make the decision to go after the life, the body, the relationship that you truly want. AT least in spirit, I’ll be cheering you on!!……….=)……..Love, Peace, David www.talkdavid.com

Searching in Life

“The personal highs and lows of anyone’s life can be a powerful tool when used with the insight to learn. Learning from each success or failure. If we fail to realize the pitfalls of the path we’re on and do not use them to help ourselves, we are condemned to keep repeating the same tragic mistakes. If we struggle to learn and appreciate the poor with the rich, the good with the “bad” and the sorrow with the joy, we will end our journey with a fuller life enriched not only with personal satisfaction and love, but also with the love of others. And, there is no greater measure of a persons life.

Throughout the last several years this underlying theme has been wrapped around my life, sometimes indistinct and hazy, sometimes startling clear. I began to understand that the clearer episodes in my life would actually help me unravel the mystery of the more darker experiences and resolve personal conflict. Until I realized this I found myself searching.

I was searching for answers that would help me cope with my sadness. Something that would help me understand why tragedy would become a frequent , unwelcomed guest. Something that would explain why life had’nt gone my way. Fortunately for me I would later realize profoundly that life HAD always gone my way, even if I did’nt see it.

Searching is a collection of writings that reflect this realization of the shadowy side of my life. To some this chapter may seem “dark” and maybe it is. But in reality this chapter offers a grappling of feelings from the comings and goings of the people in my life, the happiness they brought with them and shared, and the incredible damage that was done when the happiness and joy suddenly dissolved into despair and lonliness.

If I fell and broke my heart, I would get up cursing and clean myself off , only to slip and fall again. This struggle was also a sign of my internal conflicts that surfaced as I tried to find my own path to success. A path, that even though you know your purpose for being , can be filled with confusion.

Realize, as I did, the power in your creativity when you submerge yourself in this side of your feelings.

Be curious.

Explore with me as we search for answers.

This I know for a fact, we uncover real beauty when we explore our pain.

The same beauty as every dawn that follows night.

Question.

Explore.

Search.”

Reprinted from the book “Phoenix Soul: One Man’s Search for Love and Inner Peace”..c1998, David Essel

(It is always amazing when we reflect back to our experiences in life, how the journey continues in our search for love and inner peace regardless how old we are. I wrote this 10 years ago, and can still relate to the words in my life today. I find this to be comforting in the realization that we may never get “there”….meaning perfection….yet we can see tremendous growth if we are doing our part to evolve and grow…The search never ends, but hopefully the joy becomes brighter…Slow down, and try to appreciate even more today the growth you’ve made over the past 10 years in your life. Celebrate you…=)..Love and Peace, David

Giving Thanks in Unexpected Places

Ahhhhhh….Thanksgiving day…A day of reflection…or not. It does surprise me that there truly are so many people whose reflection on this day, on their life, goes only as deep as a quick blessing at the dinner table. And for some, maybe not even that. Sad, yet true.

And then there are people, possibly like us. Who over do or thanks-giving by wanting to talk about it all….day….long….=)…Believe it or not we might even become a little boring to those around us!!!…

In the possibility though of becoming boring, I move forward today in thanks. GREAT thanks. AMAZING gratitude for all that I am, have, and expereince daily.

Last Sunday I was invited to give the sermon again at the First Church of Religious Science in Cape Coral, Florida. I spoke about the Three Dimensions of gratitude…..of giving thanks, consciously and yes even in writing, for three distinctively different areas of our lives. First, for those people we absolutely love …Second, for the beautiful gifts we have personally been given…and last for the people we really do not like, or enjoy, from the past or who even may somehow still may be in our presence today in a small or big way.

Let’s begin by thanking those people in category 3…the former spouses we still do not like..the former boyfriends or girlfriends or friends who, when we think of them, get a little “sting” in our gut that could relate to anger, jealousy…or even the desire for revenge!!!….. Ahhhhh yes, THOSE type of people. Most of us , if we are honest, have one or two or even 10 people from our past or present that we do not care for, at least until now. Why? Because I believe they could be our greatest teachers in this moment if we do one simple thing…look for the gift they gave us at the time we were connected. By having gratitude for this gift, which means dropping our ego and looking for the truth in this relationship, we can free ourselves from the bondage of the past or even the present…and move forward with more energy, light and love. There is a beautiful saying…”Holding a resentment or grudge against someone else is like drinking a poison and hoping it will hurt them.”…smile, I’m laughing right now.

Now, that does’nt mean you have to forgive and accept someone back into your life who has hurt you immensely, but by looking for the gift they gave, and being thankful on this day for that gift, we move to a whole new level of existence.

I remember being hurt numerous times very deeply by someone I loved and at one point not really thinking I could release that pain. Have you ever experienced this? As I did the exercise I’m asking you to do today though, I was able to see what an amazing gift she brought into my life!!! One nite when we were together talking, she opened up and shared an amazing story of her struggle with alcohol , and with tears streaming down her face recalled the day she entered a treatment facility for this disease.

I was so moved that she shared this, because even though we had been dating for several months, I had never seen her cry,or go to this depth of emotion, and never imagined she had ever had a problem with alcohol. It was such an incredible evening that 2 days later I called and checked myself in to a 30 day treatment center for alcohol addiction, a move that may had never happened had I not met this angel on earth. So even after the pain that was caused during and after our breakup, I will ALWAYS,ALWAYS,ALWAYS be filled with gratitude, immense gratitude, for this person. In all likelihood, she easily could have been the gift that saved my life.

And now, how about you?? Take a moment and reflect today, or anyday, on thanking someone you may be struggling with, or struggled with in the past, for the gift that they brought into your life. Do this in writing right now. Everyone, regardless of how much drama and chaos they bring or have brought to you before….offers us a gift of growth. The deepest of thanks, the most immense form of gratitude, can only be found by looking for the “gem in these thorns”. I truly hope you’ll take a moment today and do this exercise, to free yourself, and them, from the ravages of our ego.

Be free, be joyous today on Thanksgiving, and celebrate the unexpected gifts that come from the unlikeliest of places. Love, David

The Missing Secret, in “The Secret”

I absolutely love the motivational dvd The Secret. As a matter of fact, since it’s first release I have recommended that my business and life coaching clients, friends and family members all make it a priority to purchase this dvd and watch it at least 2-3 times in the first 3 weeks after purchase. The reason is really quite simple. I totally believe in and have lived for the past 30 years the principle of “the Law of Attraction”. That we become what we think most about daily. However….I do have a concern that was raised AGAIN in a session with a client this week.

She was frustrated that after creating a list of all that she desired in life, in detail, and had visualized daily her “dreams becoming her reality”….and had filled her mind with motivational books and cds……that after all of this nothing had changed over the last 8 months. As a matter of fact, she felt that she was becoming depressed over her lack of progress. She asked me how, after following the steps outlined in The Secret, her life could still be the same. For the one hundreth time, I had to go into the same speech about a dvd I absolutely loved. (Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, but he’s not bringing you everything you want, on your time frame….=)……………)

“There’s a missing Secret in “The Secret”, I explained, “that was left out but needs to be discussed. While you may believe that you have followed the formula they created, the missing link is that you have not created , nor implemented any daily action steps to create the life you want. In other words, the key concept that seperates someone who wants to lose weight and someone who actually does, is that the former creates a written plan and follows it daily, while the latter dreams of doing so but has’nt quite followed through with the action needed to help accomplish the end result they desire.

While there are many steps that one needs to follow to accomplish any goal, when it comes right down to it, the most important one is ACTION. If you want to meet the man or woman of your dreams, visualize them in your life…create a list of their qualities…..and then get out there and meet people!!!…Join a dating service….tell your friends your ready to create a beautiful relationship…join a class at your church…volunteer every saturday at a charity of your choice…

This is the key to success, and the missing link that is keeping so many people from accomplishing their most important goals in life. Get off of the sidelines in life and into the game through a written action plan. I know the Secret to success will then no longer be the one thing that others know but you do not…… It’s time to create the life you want, and I truly want you to live, have and enjoy all that you desire. It’s time to “ROCK ON”…Let’s do it with action today….David

Addicted to Love???

I never imagined I’d be writing about this topic…and especially writing about it from a personal experience. Yes, since 1992 I have coached, counseled, and assisted hundreds of people through the rigors and joys of relationships, even at times going so far as to suggest that what they were experiencing had the feel of an “addiction ”, but never looking in the mirror and realizing that I was drawing these people into my world because I had the same tendencies and sometimes the same end results as they did. Love, or the fantasy of love, can be as addictive as heroin….alcohol….nicotine…or any of the other habits and substances that we can fall victim to on a daily basis.

So today, on the very first day of my blog , I find myself coaching someone going through the throngs of love addiction. The “I can’t live with him, I can’t live without him” dance of relationship death. Ok, maybe all love addicted relationships don’t have to die a slow and prolonged death, but from both my personal and professional experience , unless we are in the care of someone with experience in the field, most seem to go through the cycle of drama , drama, and more drama.

The constant breakups, makeups, broken promises and more. An addiction can be defined as a process in which we return to a substance or behavoir even though we know it is not in our best interest, or as some might say for our highest good. So as I sit there listening to my client rationalize her return to someone who has lied again….mislead her again… I had to reflect on my own experiences as a “love addict”.

From a male perspective I might add, this topic will never be discussed in a locker room or over a few beers. Most men, and probably women as well, cannot see their staying in an unhealthy relationship as an addiction. It took me a solid year and one half of hell in a relationship before a very good friend of mine, who is an amazing healer, and an excellent psychotherapist were able to shed light on a very taboo subject. Finally it all made sense. I had seen the effects that another addiction had on my life, and with their help was able to see this as the same thing. I was “hooked” by the desire for love, but was with someone who was not capable of offering what I desired, needed, and wanted.

To this day, it still amazes me what I was willing to go through , all of the pain, misery, breakups and more for the sake of this addiction. I had broken all of the promises I had made to myself about the type of person I wanted to be with. When I found out that this person was still married, seperated but legally married, after she intially told me she was divorced, I stayed. When I found out she was in active addiction with nicotine after being told she was not, I left but came right back. When I was accused of having affairs during our relationship even though I had the proof that it was not true, I left…but a short time later again came right back. The addiction had me in its death grip, and I was holding on for dear life.

You see, I was the enabler. I wanted to be the “hero” and save this poor woman from her terrible marriage, and help her to heal at every level possible. Even though I had set one boundary after another…”I can’t see you until you’re officially divorced…until you’re free of addiction…until you’re emotionally free to date me”…I continued to break down my own healthy walls and either seek her out, or let her back in when she called….In the throngs of love addiction, we’ll stay in unhealthy relationships for months, years, even decades!! The fantasy of love was my drug, and up to a point regardless of what I had to endure, just like the addict who absolutely needs a drink at 7pm, a cigarette first thing in the morning or after a fight with their partner….I needed this person. And, at any cost. For a while we were both victims of this insane dance, and even though I knew this was far from normal behavoir, I rationalized my reactions all in the name of love. As I see it now, in the name of addiction.

It does’nt mean that this relationship was without power, intensity , attraction, romance ,fun and more…but it was lacking respect . I had a lack of respect for myself, that even though I knew this person from the beginning had not told me the truth, I continued in the relationship. I can now see my role more clearly than ever, and look to help as many people as I can to first see the truth of what their situation is. To see the role they are playing. To get out of denial, and into reality. For until we can see our own role, nothing can really change. Until we can stop blaming the other person for all of the problems in our realtionship, nothing can really be healed at the deepest level inside. And more often than not, we are destined to repeat our past mistakes.

Forgiving ourselves is crucial to growth. Forgiving the other person follows this first step. Surrendering to the truth of our behavoirs, not the fantasy of love is not an easy move, but the freedom that eventually appears is so very worth the effort.

So today as I watched my client struggling with the very same issue, I smiled broadly inside as she turned before leaving my office and said, “David, I swear this feels like I’m addicted to him or something. I know that sounds crazy, but he’s like a drug I can’t leave alone. Can we look at that possibility next session?”

“Your inner voice is speaking very strongly” I replied. “Yes, it’s the perfect time to explore your thoughts…you might be on to something really important to your future.” I could see relief instantly sweep across her face, and I know she’s on the perfect path to healing. Definitely her own healing, and hopefully her partners too.