Searching in Life

“The personal highs and lows of anyone’s life can be a powerful tool when used with the insight to learn. Learning from each success or failure. If we fail to realize the pitfalls of the path we’re on and do not use them to help ourselves, we are condemned to keep repeating the same tragic mistakes. If we struggle to learn and appreciate the poor with the rich, the good with the “bad” and the sorrow with the joy, we will end our journey with a fuller life enriched not only with personal satisfaction and love, but also with the love of others. And, there is no greater measure of a persons life.

Throughout the last several years this underlying theme has been wrapped around my life, sometimes indistinct and hazy, sometimes startling clear. I began to understand that the clearer episodes in my life would actually help me unravel the mystery of the more darker experiences and resolve personal conflict. Until I realized this I found myself searching.

I was searching for answers that would help me cope with my sadness. Something that would help me understand why tragedy would become a frequent , unwelcomed guest. Something that would explain why life had’nt gone my way. Fortunately for me I would later realize profoundly that life HAD always gone my way, even if I did’nt see it.

Searching is a collection of writings that reflect this realization of the shadowy side of my life. To some this chapter may seem “dark” and maybe it is. But in reality this chapter offers a grappling of feelings from the comings and goings of the people in my life, the happiness they brought with them and shared, and the incredible damage that was done when the happiness and joy suddenly dissolved into despair and lonliness.

If I fell and broke my heart, I would get up cursing and clean myself off , only to slip and fall again. This struggle was also a sign of my internal conflicts that surfaced as I tried to find my own path to success. A path, that even though you know your purpose for being , can be filled with confusion.

Realize, as I did, the power in your creativity when you submerge yourself in this side of your feelings.

Be curious.

Explore with me as we search for answers.

This I know for a fact, we uncover real beauty when we explore our pain.

The same beauty as every dawn that follows night.

Question.

Explore.

Search.”

Reprinted from the book “Phoenix Soul: One Man’s Search for Love and Inner Peace”..c1998, David Essel

(It is always amazing when we reflect back to our experiences in life, how the journey continues in our search for love and inner peace regardless how old we are. I wrote this 10 years ago, and can still relate to the words in my life today. I find this to be comforting in the realization that we may never get “there”….meaning perfection….yet we can see tremendous growth if we are doing our part to evolve and grow…The search never ends, but hopefully the joy becomes brighter…Slow down, and try to appreciate even more today the growth you’ve made over the past 10 years in your life. Celebrate you…=)..Love and Peace, David