Friday, August 15, 2008

Setting Boundaries, Personally, Professionally

A client walked into my office several weeks ago so frustrated over a way a friend had treated him.

It seems that he had made plans to meet her, and at the last minute on the day they were supposed to meet, cancelled, and had decided instead to work on a home project that he had wanted to finish.

She, on the other had, had made special arrangements to get together, and shared with him how she honestly felt. Disappointed. Frustrated, that he would cancel with such short notice, so that he could take care of a project that was not life threatening, that literally could have been done at another time.

He wanted me to side with him. " I mean seriously, couldn't she had just rescheduled with me , instead of making it such a big deal?"

"Well", I asked, "I guess if you want to live an honest, real life, you've got to take the fact that she shared her feelings with you as a good sign. Sounds like she is living congruently, that she respects herself enough to let someone know when they have disappointed her. I'd have to say she is right on target. "

Our word, as many have written, is our bond. But many people, such as my client , do not quite get it yet. That's why "talk is cheap", and "actions speak louder that words", are such important statements.

If we want to live a powerful life, we have to do what we say we will do.

In my 24 years as a professional speaker, I have only had to cancel one presentation myself. And that occurred when an organization that had asked me to speak for them did not live up to their words to me not once, not twice, but three times.

After the third time of being promised that I would receive their proposal of the "trade out" they would do instead of paying me for my work, I cancelled my appearance.

Of course they were not happy with this decision, but I had to make a choice, to work with people who stay true to their word, or not to. Remember, we attract to us what we are willing to put up with.

I did in the end send an apology letter. For what you may ask? For agreeing to speak after the second time they did not follow through on their word. You see, I saw that after the second event, I knew in my gut that I should tell them to call me when they were more organized. Instead, I did not pay attention to my intuition, and the result was frustration for all.

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Slow Down.

Love, Peace, David Essel

No comments:

Post a Comment