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For many Americans, trying to decide who to vote for during our upcoming Presidential election is proving harder than expected.
The reason for this can come from many angles, but in my coaching practice I'm seeing the concept of "peer pressure" in a whole new light.
People are feeling the need to be accepted for their choice of Presidential candidate.
........."You wouldn't vote for an African American President would you? How could you vote for a Vice Presidential candidate who is a woman, which means if her running mate is incapacitated, she would be President!".....And the list goes on and on.
This year is unprecedented in regards to the race, so it becomes crucial that we vote with our heads, hearts and intuition all as one.
I'm encouraging clients to read 1 article per day about each candidate written in a supportive form.
I'm encouraging this move so that they have a true understanding of what the candidates platforms really are , not believing it coming second handed from someone who is skewing the information.
Then, regardless if your family, friends, cousins or co-workers are pushing you to vote in a certain way...slow down. Think for yourself. Get quiet for 10-15 minutes and make the decision to vote for your candidate based on information and intuition. Not race or gender.
Slow Down. Vote with confidence...even if it goes against your past voting practices. Even if it goes against who you thought you would vote for before you read this blog.
Love, Peace, David Essel www.talkdavid.com
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Our Desire to Be Accepted...Liked By All......
It's funny how my work as a Life Coach often, if not always, is a mirror of my own personal life.
Over the past few weeks, several of my clients have been dealing with their desire to be accepted by others. To be liked by everyone. Their struggle has seemed to be centered on these traits that we all have ingrained since we were little boys and girls.
In some families, the need to be liked...to be accepted...has lead to intense addictions. Spending to keep our image up with our neighbors. Having sex with someone who asks for it so that we won't feel the pain of rejection. Accepting a job that looks great in our parents eyes, even though we have no interest whatsoever in the chosen field. Laughing at insensitive jokes to be a part of the gang...at work or with friends. Voting for a certain nominee to be accepted by certain groups of co-workers, friends or family members.
Stepping out and living our own life, regardless of who agrees or disagrees, can be a challenging existence...but if your own personal path is not followed, only you are the one to pay. And what is the price tag??? Our own self esteem. Our sense of self. Our self worth. Our personal levels of confidence. Basically, our entire existence is at stake if you want to be honest about it.
Recently, I've had several people pull me aside and say "there are quite a few people who do not like you David...They're saying Who is HE to co-found a non denominational church? Who is HE to call himself a Minister? Who is HE to lead certification workshops for Life Coaches??" And the list goes on.
I know the correct path is not necessarily the easiest one. I give my clients the tools needed to listen to these attacks...and to move forward anyway. We, the people who have dreams, who want to make a difference in this world, need to keep on our glorious, yes glorious path without concern about what others say.
Remember, Christ had many people who vehemently disliked him..as did Buddha... as does Donald Trump...and Suze Orman.....yest they all keep following their own path.
Do the same. Remove the need to be liked by all....and instead..follow your dreams, your heart...your soul..
Do not let the jealousy, insecurity or envy of others get in your way to becoming the beautiful force that you are.
Slow Down.
Love yourself. Peace. Love, David Essel www.talkdavid.com
Over the past few weeks, several of my clients have been dealing with their desire to be accepted by others. To be liked by everyone. Their struggle has seemed to be centered on these traits that we all have ingrained since we were little boys and girls.
In some families, the need to be liked...to be accepted...has lead to intense addictions. Spending to keep our image up with our neighbors. Having sex with someone who asks for it so that we won't feel the pain of rejection. Accepting a job that looks great in our parents eyes, even though we have no interest whatsoever in the chosen field. Laughing at insensitive jokes to be a part of the gang...at work or with friends. Voting for a certain nominee to be accepted by certain groups of co-workers, friends or family members.
Stepping out and living our own life, regardless of who agrees or disagrees, can be a challenging existence...but if your own personal path is not followed, only you are the one to pay. And what is the price tag??? Our own self esteem. Our sense of self. Our self worth. Our personal levels of confidence. Basically, our entire existence is at stake if you want to be honest about it.
Recently, I've had several people pull me aside and say "there are quite a few people who do not like you David...They're saying Who is HE to co-found a non denominational church? Who is HE to call himself a Minister? Who is HE to lead certification workshops for Life Coaches??" And the list goes on.
I know the correct path is not necessarily the easiest one. I give my clients the tools needed to listen to these attacks...and to move forward anyway. We, the people who have dreams, who want to make a difference in this world, need to keep on our glorious, yes glorious path without concern about what others say.
Remember, Christ had many people who vehemently disliked him..as did Buddha... as does Donald Trump...and Suze Orman.....yest they all keep following their own path.
Do the same. Remove the need to be liked by all....and instead..follow your dreams, your heart...your soul..
Do not let the jealousy, insecurity or envy of others get in your way to becoming the beautiful force that you are.
Slow Down.
Love yourself. Peace. Love, David Essel www.talkdavid.com
Monday, October 13, 2008
What Should I Expect During Life Coach Certification
Depending on the course that you may sign up for, coaching certifications can take between 16 and 100 hours to complete.
I would recommend that you look for a course that offers the following information, either via classes, outside research or one on one instruction, (but never all of this via email only):
1) What is the mission of your work?
2) What are the key characteristics of exceptional coaches?
3) What is the format and purpose of each session with a client?
4) What are the Ethics of Coaching?
5) What are the key tools needed for personal growth?
6) Why do some people succeed in their goals in life, while others seem to constantly fail?
7) What is the role of web site design, email marketing and blogging in regard to building a business?
8) How do I know I'm really ready to coach someone?
OK, this should get you started as you look for a Coaching Certification that you truly connect with.
Outside of our own very successful Certification Program that we teach through a variety of ways, that you can see at www.talkdavid.com , please interview other fine programs before you make your decision.
and once you do....have a great time helping others!!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
What is a Certified Life Coach?
As the world of Life Coaching continues to explode, many people over the years have asked me this very question...What is a Certified Life Coach, and do I need to work with someone who is certified?
First, a Certified Life Coach is someone who has taken the extra step to receive additional training in their chosen field of work, which is a very good thing.
It means that they have attended an intensive weekend workshop, or participated in a course that could have taken months to complete, that shows they have a certain degree of drive and passion for their work.
Because there are no state licensing boards that oversee certifications, anyone can create certification workshops.
As someone recently asked my why she should take my certification vs someone Else's, the answer was very simple.
1..Only take a certification workshop from an organization who has major endorsements from high profile people, or multiple people who you can contact as references.
We have endorsements from well known authors such as Wayne Dyer and Mark Victor Hansen, as well as literally hundreds of former clients.
2..Make sure the instructor has at least 5-8 years of experience as a Life Coach themselves, with an education that backs their work. I am an Adjunct Professor at Edison State College, where I teach a Life Coach Certification class.
3..And maybe as importantly, make sure you connect with the personality of the instructors.
Yes, with the world of Life Coaching now a normal fixture in our everyday lives, look for those who are Certified.
For more information on the Certification Programs we offer, please visit www.talkdavid.com .
Slow down, enjoy life.
Love, Peace, David Essel
First, a Certified Life Coach is someone who has taken the extra step to receive additional training in their chosen field of work, which is a very good thing.
It means that they have attended an intensive weekend workshop, or participated in a course that could have taken months to complete, that shows they have a certain degree of drive and passion for their work.
Because there are no state licensing boards that oversee certifications, anyone can create certification workshops.
As someone recently asked my why she should take my certification vs someone Else's, the answer was very simple.
1..Only take a certification workshop from an organization who has major endorsements from high profile people, or multiple people who you can contact as references.
We have endorsements from well known authors such as Wayne Dyer and Mark Victor Hansen, as well as literally hundreds of former clients.
2..Make sure the instructor has at least 5-8 years of experience as a Life Coach themselves, with an education that backs their work. I am an Adjunct Professor at Edison State College, where I teach a Life Coach Certification class.
3..And maybe as importantly, make sure you connect with the personality of the instructors.
Yes, with the world of Life Coaching now a normal fixture in our everyday lives, look for those who are Certified.
For more information on the Certification Programs we offer, please visit www.talkdavid.com .
Slow down, enjoy life.
Love, Peace, David Essel
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Asking for Business...A Lost Art?
Over the years I have had the chance to coach many extremely talented people who constantly struggled to be successful. Some may have experienced a brief taste of financial success, only to see it whither over a short period of time.
Or others may have come so close to ongoing success that they became overconfident and found themselves a few months after our sessions ended right back at the place they began...barely making ends meet.
I've even worked with people who truly believed in their abilities, yet got stuck in the mindset that said healers do the work because they love it, not to make alot of money. Nonsense.
If I could find a common denominator amongst all of these great people though who struggled financially, it had to be in their fear of asking people for business. It had nothing to do with their talent, or willingness to work hard, but their fear of rejection became the block to their success.
If we truly believe in our talents, we must risk asking others to buy into our product or service if we want ongoing success. We must be willing to sell ourselves or our products every day in order to not only make more money, but to also make a greater difference in this world.
We must risk rejection daily to become more successful in life. Waiting for people to find us...and then to buy into our services , is a death knell to any business.
"The Aladdin Factor", a book by Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield is one of my favorites, as they describe the absolute importance of asking for what we desire in life. Everyday.
Slow down.
Love, Peace, David Essel www.talkdavid.com
Or others may have come so close to ongoing success that they became overconfident and found themselves a few months after our sessions ended right back at the place they began...barely making ends meet.
I've even worked with people who truly believed in their abilities, yet got stuck in the mindset that said healers do the work because they love it, not to make alot of money. Nonsense.
If I could find a common denominator amongst all of these great people though who struggled financially, it had to be in their fear of asking people for business. It had nothing to do with their talent, or willingness to work hard, but their fear of rejection became the block to their success.
If we truly believe in our talents, we must risk asking others to buy into our product or service if we want ongoing success. We must be willing to sell ourselves or our products every day in order to not only make more money, but to also make a greater difference in this world.
We must risk rejection daily to become more successful in life. Waiting for people to find us...and then to buy into our services , is a death knell to any business.
"The Aladdin Factor", a book by Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield is one of my favorites, as they describe the absolute importance of asking for what we desire in life. Everyday.
Slow down.
Love, Peace, David Essel www.talkdavid.com
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Maximizing Your Networking Events
A Business Coaching client came to me a month ago perplexed as to why all 0f his efforts to gain new business has not created any new substantial leads. We had set a goal of 3 networking events per week, that if attended consistently, would easily produce results. When? No consultant can answer that question.
But we do know without a doubt, that this type of effort will surely be rewarded. Again, the key is consistency.
As I prodded my client with question after question, how he approached people, what his "30 second pitch" was, how he left each conversation, I could see where the leak was in his plan.
He had succeeded in handing out 15-20 business cards at each event, but had forgotten that the real goal is to "collect cards", not just give his out.
The reason? When we hand out a ton of cards we have no control over what these people will do with his information, if anything. When we focus our attention on "collecting " business cards, we now are in the business driving seat.
We can call them. Email them. Add them to our email marketing list.
We can send them a letter to see how we might serve their needs, or invite them to another networking event that they may not be aware of.
Got the picture?
To create business, get in the habit of collecting business prospect cards, and then see how you might be able to turn this information into an opportunity to serve them, which in essence will serve your needs as well.
Slow Down.
Wishing you peace, success.
David Essel www.talkdavid.com
But we do know without a doubt, that this type of effort will surely be rewarded. Again, the key is consistency.
As I prodded my client with question after question, how he approached people, what his "30 second pitch" was, how he left each conversation, I could see where the leak was in his plan.
He had succeeded in handing out 15-20 business cards at each event, but had forgotten that the real goal is to "collect cards", not just give his out.
The reason? When we hand out a ton of cards we have no control over what these people will do with his information, if anything. When we focus our attention on "collecting " business cards, we now are in the business driving seat.
We can call them. Email them. Add them to our email marketing list.
We can send them a letter to see how we might serve their needs, or invite them to another networking event that they may not be aware of.
Got the picture?
To create business, get in the habit of collecting business prospect cards, and then see how you might be able to turn this information into an opportunity to serve them, which in essence will serve your needs as well.
Slow Down.
Wishing you peace, success.
David Essel www.talkdavid.com
Children's "Return to School" Anxiety
It has happened for hundreds of years and will continue until the end of time. Kids of all ages will be struggling at this time of year as they return from summer break and enter their own personal workforce: School.
And with this reentry, for many, will come immense pressure, stress and anxiety.
New schools, new teachers, new classmates, and for some everything will be entirely new.
One of my clients came to me the other day extremely stressed as her child was not fitting in at the new middle school. After just 1 week, the child refused to go to any of her classes. The kids were not nice. The teacher too demanding. The homework too intense.
So, how can parents deal with their children's anxiety?
The biggest mistake we make is to try and solve the stress for our children.
Phrases like "It's ok honey, things will get better, you just hang in there"....is like saying "I really don't want to hear your pain, your stress ....can you just not talk about it dear?"
We think we're doing the best thing by trying to alleviate their fear, yet it is actually the worst thing a parent can do.
Students at every grade level, from kindergarten to senior high will face their own personal hurdles, and the best thing a parent can do is to listen...and ask questions that can help their child to alleviate some of their fears.
"Can you tell me what is bothering you? Can you share what is making you feel afraid to return to class? "
By continuing to ask questions, even if at first it doesn't seem to be creating any solution, your child will begin to feel that you truly do care. That you want to listen. And do just that, simply listen, with no need to give answers. Just listen.
If they are too young to actually tap into their fears, ask them to draw how they feel.
Continue to ask questions, day after day...and just listen. Hold them if they cry. But do not shut them down. Even if it's hard to hear their pain, hang in there and listen.
While it may take a little time to get them to open up, once they do, they'll begin to feel better too.
Ask the teachers, counselors and other member's of the school staff for help if it is needed, but do not solve your child's problems for them.
Slow Down, have faith.
Learn to let your children express themselves.
Love, Peace, David Essel. www.talkdavid.com
And with this reentry, for many, will come immense pressure, stress and anxiety.
New schools, new teachers, new classmates, and for some everything will be entirely new.
One of my clients came to me the other day extremely stressed as her child was not fitting in at the new middle school. After just 1 week, the child refused to go to any of her classes. The kids were not nice. The teacher too demanding. The homework too intense.
So, how can parents deal with their children's anxiety?
The biggest mistake we make is to try and solve the stress for our children.
Phrases like "It's ok honey, things will get better, you just hang in there"....is like saying "I really don't want to hear your pain, your stress ....can you just not talk about it dear?"
We think we're doing the best thing by trying to alleviate their fear, yet it is actually the worst thing a parent can do.
Students at every grade level, from kindergarten to senior high will face their own personal hurdles, and the best thing a parent can do is to listen...and ask questions that can help their child to alleviate some of their fears.
"Can you tell me what is bothering you? Can you share what is making you feel afraid to return to class? "
By continuing to ask questions, even if at first it doesn't seem to be creating any solution, your child will begin to feel that you truly do care. That you want to listen. And do just that, simply listen, with no need to give answers. Just listen.
If they are too young to actually tap into their fears, ask them to draw how they feel.
Continue to ask questions, day after day...and just listen. Hold them if they cry. But do not shut them down. Even if it's hard to hear their pain, hang in there and listen.
While it may take a little time to get them to open up, once they do, they'll begin to feel better too.
Ask the teachers, counselors and other member's of the school staff for help if it is needed, but do not solve your child's problems for them.
Slow Down, have faith.
Learn to let your children express themselves.
Love, Peace, David Essel. www.talkdavid.com
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