Monday, November 24, 2008

The Search For Our Soul mate.... or Soul mates?

As my client sat in front of me, tears of frustration running down her face as she searched in vain for her soul mate, I remember how I felt the same anguish that she was experiencing right now in front of me a number of years ago.

"I'm so tired of looking for him...of dating people who start off great but end up being so far from my soul mate that I don't have any idea of what to do next..Can you point me in the direction to finally find him?"

"How will your life be different once you connect with your soul mate?" I ask.

" Oh, the word that comes to me is blissful. I know that once we're together, my life and his will be amazing. I deserve that, and he does too. I know that the fighting that I see and have experienced, the arguing, the doubt will be gone. When you connect with your true soul mate, you don't have to go through the craziness anymore. "

She went on to mention several very popular books she had read that created the image she so wanted to experience.

For many of us, this image of the day when all will be perfect reminds me of the fairy tale books we read when we were younger. The prince saves the day. The beautiful maiden takes our cares away.

But, how realistic I wonder is this fantasy that swirls in our minds?

I wonder if your last relationship that ended abruptly could have been with a soul who had been perfectly presented for us to learn an amazing life lesson or two.

In other words, what if everyone you had ever dated was a soul mate?

What if the ones that pushed you the hardest, that drove you crazy with their control issues, or laziness, or lies...were all there to help you to grow, to learn how to set healthy boundaries so that you'd be ready for the next level of love?

What if there was really no hierarchy of lovers, just simply all perfect beings that assisted you in learning to love yourself more, so as you matured you could learn to love and accept others more deeply?

Of course if that was true, then we'd see that we are responsible for our own levels of growth, happiness and love. We'd see that we can't be pinning our hopes on some man or women to save us, and we'd begin to appreciate everyone who we have ever loved as the beautiful being that they are.

We'd also have to let go of the resentments we hold against past lovers...which is something the ego may battle you over. =) And admit they were soul mates too. Hmmmmm, could you possibly ever do that?

I believe in everything written here today that has to do with being responsible in love.

I believe in soul mates, not one soul mate. And, I am blessed by every woman I've ever dated, for the absolute awareness and love each of them has brought into my life.

Yes, there were, and still are, my soul mates.

Slow down. Let go of the fantasy of love, and jump into the reality of the beauty of your life, and all of those who have been a part of your learning curve in love.

Love, Peace, David Essel

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