Sunday, August 16, 2009

Lust: A critical component of a love relationship

Without a doubt, lust is a very important component of a love relationship, but oh, how many love to lam bast this critical aspect of our existence. Unfortunately for many, due to an erroneous upbringing or a religion that instills guilt versus reality, lust truly became a four letter word.

Now, as someone who works in the field of helping people to recover from addictions, I have seen and worked with individuals who had an addiction to lust, to sex, and yes even to love. And for these people, until they are in recovery, how they pursue, or act within a intimate relationship needs to be kept within certain boundaries, so that lust can become the love they seek.

So, let's look at the term lust. According to Webster, it means "an intense sexual desire". Period. That's it. And all I can say is "amen!"

We desire this don't we in a relationship? Isn't that such a beautiful divinely given characteristic, that sets apart our feelings for one person over another? I love the concept of lust, of an intense sexual desire for a partner, that separates her from the rest. If there was ever a beautifully written connotation of the word lust, I hope it is right here, right now.

Quite simply, lust rocks!

Of course it is not the end all of a relationship, it never has been , and never will be. After the initial phase of physical attraction, and sexual desire, we move up the ladder from our primal desires to intellectual ones, and finally on to the spiritual connection that cements all deep love relationships. As a part of this, we go to the concept of serving out partner, during both good and challenging times, not just when we want to. Yes, we are now moving into the progression of what is referred to as love.

But let's not move too quickly. Let's enjoy the lust a little longer. As a matter of fact, I see lust, or a strong sexual desire, as a type of glue that can help a relationship to mature. If we accept, and acknowledge the importance of lust, in the beginning and then throughout a love relationship, we could easily experience the concept of sacred sexuality, divine union, for the physical desire between a couple should be held as important, and yes sacred!

Explore the concept of lust. Do not be afraid to even use the word. "Yes, my love, I feel a strong sexual desire for you!" Why not say that to your partner! Why not release the shame and guilt, and in a very healthy way encourage each others sexual desire, don't dampen it...encourage it!

One of my missions in life is to help us all to become free in our sexuality and intimacy, and it does not happen by sitting on the sideline of life. We must all become more involved. Our sexual desires for a partner should be kept as a critical component of love, one that keeps us fresh, young, regardless of our age of how long we've been together.

Dress to express your sexuality. Decide as a couple to let go, to become more free sexually, to work with someone in this field as you let go of inhibitions and communicate more openly and honestly. Let lust become a pathway to fall even deeper in love.

Slow down.

Love, peace, David

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