Posts
I grew up in a nice middle class home.
Parents that loved me.
High school and college athlete who loved life.
How the hell did I become a binge cocaine user?
Here is the story of recovery, on this short video, that may not have ever happened if I tried to do it by myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiO9JtTRs6M
For 20 years we have helped people heal from every addiction known to man.
Alcohol, co dependency, food, sex and yes drug addiction.
Contact us today if we can help you. 941.266.7676 www.davidessel.com
Freedom awaits.
Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts
Monday, October 7, 2013
Sunday, April 4, 2010
My Clients Walk into Sobriety: Step 1: Surrender
I'm so very excited to share with you one of my recent client's blog writing on her walk into sobriety.
From time to time, with her permission, I will share her writings, so that anyone thinking about living without alcohol, or any other substance, can hear firsthand what it is like.
Please enjoy, then feel free to share this with as many people as you would like. love, david
www.davidessel.com
STEP 1:
I have been working to uncover the denial and the belief of what I used to tell myself all the time: "everything is ok and I can handle it". I’ve been able to admit that I am powerless over alcohol and that my life was unmanageable. I knew I was powerless over alcohol because I would quit every morning and be drinking again by nightfall.
I wanted more
I became irrational
I couldn’t help myself
My life was unmanageable:
I drove drunk
Spent too much money
Gained weight
Lost energy and work time
Life was harder
Emotions built up
All sorts of resentments built up and lived under the surface for years, covered up, escaping my conscious thought but all the while hurting me. And now I’m dealing with all that.
I find my strength in recovery by being vulnerable and honest and doing something about these emotions and by releasing them. By talking, writing and going to God. God says thank you Angela for trusting me and coming to me. I will never leave you or forsake you. I’ll always be by your side. The other day I was so ashamed and guilty for so many things. The feelings came up and were with me for about 16 hours. I had to sit down and work to identify the feelings, sit with them, surrender to them and write them down. This is what is called walking into the fire.
In the fire, what I discovered by sitting with these feelings is that my deepest pain is my unworthiness. Unworthiness is a core issue for many people and is a driver for unhealthy behavior, thoughts and feelings. It is tied to low self esteem (check), wanting to be accepted (check) and trying hard to fit in (yep, that was me too). It’s also tied to a lack of spirituality and being disconnected from a Higher Power. I sat with this, talked about it, cried, reached out and prayed. And I inched a little closer toward worthiness through gratitude, self care, connection to others and God, forgiveness and prayer. I want to emphasize the importance of reaching out to others. If you’re like me and want to recover alone it will never work. One of the keys to admitting we are powerless and having a chance at true recovery is reaching out for help.
Thank you God and thank you all my friends and family who surround me with love and support every day.
With an open heart,
Angela
I wanted more
I became irrational
I couldn’t help myself
My life was unmanageable:
I drove drunk
Spent too much money
Gained weight
Lost energy and work time
Life was harder
Emotions built up
All sorts of resentments built up and lived under the surface for years, covered up, escaping my conscious thought but all the while hurting me. And now I’m dealing with all that.
I find my strength in recovery by being vulnerable and honest and doing something about these emotions and by releasing them. By talking, writing and going to God. God says thank you Angela for trusting me and coming to me. I will never leave you or forsake you. I’ll always be by your side. The other day I was so ashamed and guilty for so many things. The feelings came up and were with me for about 16 hours. I had to sit down and work to identify the feelings, sit with them, surrender to them and write them down. This is what is called walking into the fire.
In the fire, what I discovered by sitting with these feelings is that my deepest pain is my unworthiness. Unworthiness is a core issue for many people and is a driver for unhealthy behavior, thoughts and feelings. It is tied to low self esteem (check), wanting to be accepted (check) and trying hard to fit in (yep, that was me too). It’s also tied to a lack of spirituality and being disconnected from a Higher Power. I sat with this, talked about it, cried, reached out and prayed. And I inched a little closer toward worthiness through gratitude, self care, connection to others and God, forgiveness and prayer. I want to emphasize the importance of reaching out to others. If you’re like me and want to recover alone it will never work. One of the keys to admitting we are powerless and having a chance at true recovery is reaching out for help.
Thank you God and thank you all my friends and family who surround me with love and support every day.
With an open heart,
Angela
For more information on our 30 day Holistic Program on Sobriety, please see www.davidessel.com
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Are You Always Late? Read this....
ALWAYS LATE
Dear David: I have a problem with staying on a schedule and usually end up being late, or barely on time, for just about everything I do. My former boyfriend told me that this is the thing that drove him away, and that it's a sign of self-centerdness. What do you think?
(David responds) While many people try to rationalize the behavior pattern of "lateness" with comments such as " . . . this is just who I am . . . it's genetics . . . no one is perfect, accept me or move on . . .," there may be something much deeper than these surface remarks that we need to look at. Chronic lateness could be a sign of the desire for someone to control those around them, to let others know that they will set the schedule and arrive when they do, regardless of what it means to others. So, your former boyfriend may have a point that you need to look at more closely. If your being late holds everyone around you up, which inevitably it always does, then you are being selfish. Even if you apologize, it is still a sign that says, "the things I had to do that kept me from being on time are more important than you or your time." If you began to squirm as you read that last line, you may need to read it again. Oftentimes what we don't want to acknowledge, we try to push away.
Many people who are constantly late do so because they have to create "drama" in their life in order to constantly be the center of attention. Children who desire constant attention and who do not get it may purposefully disobey their parents in order to have people pay attention to them. Any attention is better than none, so even if it comes from being scolded, it's better to them than not being recognized. As adults, many of us bring our childish acts with us in order to continue being the center of attention. The adult who is always late to family functions, parties, etc.guarantees themselves attention. They know people will be talking about them and joking as they walk in the room, "Hey, so glad you could finally make it." Again, to these self-centered people, some attention is better than none at all.
Look inside and ask yourself what you need to do to change your patterns so that you can start arriving on time. The benefits to yourself and others will be well worth the efforts. Start today.
If you believe this article can help someone you know, please pass it on.
Search. Grow. Love.
Love, peace, david
www.davidessel.com
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Surrendering to Grace, with Father Ron
Several years ago I found out the true meaning of surrender, and how that act could bring about an experience of grace. And it all had to do with father Ron.
After avoiding the issue for years, I finally admitted I had a problem with alcohol. Denial and rationalization had worked wonders in helping me to avoid dealing with the one area of life that was holding me back. For many people, alcohol is a best friend, a definite escape tool that allows us to duck from dealing with reality, our own and that of the world.
I decided to check into a 30 day treatment center, The Hanley Center in West Palm Beach Florida. But don't let the location name fool you, as the center was located in the middle of "crack city". I was not going to a posh beach side resort to get clean, but rather an amazing powerful center in one of the worst areas of town.
After spending a few days in the detox wing, to prevent any chance of convulsions due to the removal of my daily alcohol fix, I was asked to briefly stop by the Spiritual Director's office where I met Father Ron. A Monsignor in the Catholic Church, Fr. Ron asked me to enter , but not to sit down as this would be short.
"Why do you think you're here?" he asked.
"Well, to get sober I guess, or to learn to drink moderately, or maybe to get on a medication to stop my desire for alcohol", I answered, still in somewhat of a denial of this disease.
"What if I were to tell you you are here for none of those answers?", he asked.
I stood there dumbfounded, not having any idea of what to say.
"Listen, I know about your work, your books, and feel I have an idea about your path in life. I want you to meditate on what I'm about to share with you tonite, and tomorrow. Then we'll meet at 2pm, and talk about this concept.
The only reason you are here is to get closer with God. To become one with God. If you take the next 30 days in this center, and devote yourself to this purpose, you will never desire alcohol or drugs again for the rest of your life. Think about this, I'll see you tomorrow. "
With that, I was gone. As I walked away, I could feel my head spinning. What was he talking about? I had been meditating for 20 years, praying daily for many more, and felt an already deep connection with God. How could deepening my relationship with God, cure addiction?
I thought about his statement all nite, and at 5am the next morning went to walk the track and meditate on his words. Within 15 minutes, a whole new world, a whole new understanding of life had opened before me! Yes, I had felt the Grace of God, right on the track! Yes I now knew what Fr. Ron had said was true! A lightness filled my being, Grace had been administered, and the opening had come through the words he shared.
For the next 30 days, I immersed myself into the work of God, through prayer circles, meditation, group therapy, one on one spiritual counseling and more. I surrendered my knowledge of addiction, and became a sponge to everything the counselors would share with me.
At the end of the 30 day stay, I had been reborn, healed at the deepest of levels, and that healing still continues to this day through my own daily rituals and the mission of my life.
Slow down, surrender , accept the Grace of the Divine, and watch your life change as well.
Love, peace, David http://www.davidessel.com
After avoiding the issue for years, I finally admitted I had a problem with alcohol. Denial and rationalization had worked wonders in helping me to avoid dealing with the one area of life that was holding me back. For many people, alcohol is a best friend, a definite escape tool that allows us to duck from dealing with reality, our own and that of the world.
I decided to check into a 30 day treatment center, The Hanley Center in West Palm Beach Florida. But don't let the location name fool you, as the center was located in the middle of "crack city". I was not going to a posh beach side resort to get clean, but rather an amazing powerful center in one of the worst areas of town.
After spending a few days in the detox wing, to prevent any chance of convulsions due to the removal of my daily alcohol fix, I was asked to briefly stop by the Spiritual Director's office where I met Father Ron. A Monsignor in the Catholic Church, Fr. Ron asked me to enter , but not to sit down as this would be short.
"Why do you think you're here?" he asked.
"Well, to get sober I guess, or to learn to drink moderately, or maybe to get on a medication to stop my desire for alcohol", I answered, still in somewhat of a denial of this disease.
"What if I were to tell you you are here for none of those answers?", he asked.
I stood there dumbfounded, not having any idea of what to say.
"Listen, I know about your work, your books, and feel I have an idea about your path in life. I want you to meditate on what I'm about to share with you tonite, and tomorrow. Then we'll meet at 2pm, and talk about this concept.
The only reason you are here is to get closer with God. To become one with God. If you take the next 30 days in this center, and devote yourself to this purpose, you will never desire alcohol or drugs again for the rest of your life. Think about this, I'll see you tomorrow. "
With that, I was gone. As I walked away, I could feel my head spinning. What was he talking about? I had been meditating for 20 years, praying daily for many more, and felt an already deep connection with God. How could deepening my relationship with God, cure addiction?
I thought about his statement all nite, and at 5am the next morning went to walk the track and meditate on his words. Within 15 minutes, a whole new world, a whole new understanding of life had opened before me! Yes, I had felt the Grace of God, right on the track! Yes I now knew what Fr. Ron had said was true! A lightness filled my being, Grace had been administered, and the opening had come through the words he shared.
For the next 30 days, I immersed myself into the work of God, through prayer circles, meditation, group therapy, one on one spiritual counseling and more. I surrendered my knowledge of addiction, and became a sponge to everything the counselors would share with me.
At the end of the 30 day stay, I had been reborn, healed at the deepest of levels, and that healing still continues to this day through my own daily rituals and the mission of my life.
Slow down, surrender , accept the Grace of the Divine, and watch your life change as well.
Love, peace, David http://www.davidessel.com
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Anyone can recover from ANY Addiction!
Recovery from any addiction is possible, and we are seeing on a daily basis results that are saving lives, families and institutions from the ravages of addiction.
Everyone, right now, is addicted to something. For some it's a substance, others, it's the need to control life, or to be liked by everyone. For others, it's the addiction to the "day" when all will be great. Like when they have more money, or they have lost weight, or have a partner. You can fill in the blanks here, but this addiction is a very powerful one.
I began my work in helping people to heal from addictions 20 years ago, and everyday I get the chance to see people reclaiming their lives. It is simply beautiful, simply miraculous.
This work helps to create a total mind, body, spirit based recovery system for each individual based on their specific needs and circumstances. Nutrition, spiritual practices, exercise, emotional support systems and even financial management are all included to ensure the ultimate success for each individual.
The face of addiction is ever changing, and the shame of admitting that we even have an addiction of any type keeps millions of people in the USA chained to habits, substances and behaviors that keeps them from living a joyful happy and successful life for years and years. Through the power of our life coaching program, this does not have to be the case anymore.
My personal recovery began in 1996, and continues to this very day. And will joyously continue to be a part of my daily routine for the rest of my life. I use the word "joyously" , as I has seen the impossible happen. Where once I could not have imagined a day without alcohol or drug use, I now enthusiastically approach each day with passion and wonder, and love to help others to do the same.
Over the past 20 years, this program has helped thousands of people become free of every type of addiction imaginable, including but not limited to :
Alcohol Addiction
Drugs & Substances such as cocaine, marijuana, nicotine & prescription
Relationships & Codependency
Sex/masturbation
Power/Career/Money
Self Image & Esteem Issues
Food
Persistent or Returning Negative Thoughts & Attitude
Attachment, phobia and repression
My path has led me to experience both traditional and non traditional forms of recovery, and feel blessed to be able to offer my clients a unique combination of both in this uniquely crafted recovery program. The reasons behind addiction to substances, negative thinking, sex, food, greed, wealth, shopping or control may be similar or vastly different between each client, but the path to freedom will be the same for all. Self knowledge, surrender, education, action, and application combined with an open mind. I can help you learn how to:
Build a deeper spiritual foundation
Deal with crisis and chaos
Manage stress
Overcome Procrastination
Improve Communication at home or work
Heal from the loss of a love relationship
Rebuild after divorce or loss of a love relationship
Through the power of both talk and written coaching practices, each person discovers not just the "whys" of their addiction, but also the "how's" needed to move to a new existence.
Our compassion and confidentiality for each client is unsurpassed, as through my own daily recovery I knows firsthand the importance of having a support system in place that really cares. And yes, I really do care deeply about every person I work with.
We know that because of the fact that you are reading this right now, that today is the day to make the call, and begin your own process to finally get on the road to freedom, the road to recovery, that is available today for everyone.
I would be honored to work with you in your recovery and help you bring in the happiness, success, peace, and health that you deserve.
Your new path is simply a phone call away: 941-266-7676. Let us show you the way. Whether we do this in person or over the phone, the results will be the same:Freedom,Success. http://www.davidessel.com
"I am so grateful for the tools, wisdom, and courage that you provided to help me solve my dependency to alcohol. My 8 weeks with you provided everything that I needed to quit when nothing else had worked in my many past attempts to stop drinking. After 18 years of alcohol addiction, I am now happily sober and loving life. I still thank you every day."
— Andy
"Working with David on sexual addictions has transformed my life. I no longer dwell in guilt and self disgust from my behavior. I am able to experience the overwhelming emotion, accept it for what it is and let it go. This change did not happen overnight, it is something that I work on moment by moment. By applying the tools I received I am learning to love and accept myself and am taking a deeper look into the cause of the addiction, not the addiction itself. The investment of time and money in working with David has brought about a change in many areas of my life. I highly recommend his work, he has been a vehicle of Gods love and blessings to me."
— Wendy
Everyone, right now, is addicted to something. For some it's a substance, others, it's the need to control life, or to be liked by everyone. For others, it's the addiction to the "day" when all will be great. Like when they have more money, or they have lost weight, or have a partner. You can fill in the blanks here, but this addiction is a very powerful one.
I began my work in helping people to heal from addictions 20 years ago, and everyday I get the chance to see people reclaiming their lives. It is simply beautiful, simply miraculous.
This work helps to create a total mind, body, spirit based recovery system for each individual based on their specific needs and circumstances. Nutrition, spiritual practices, exercise, emotional support systems and even financial management are all included to ensure the ultimate success for each individual.
The face of addiction is ever changing, and the shame of admitting that we even have an addiction of any type keeps millions of people in the USA chained to habits, substances and behaviors that keeps them from living a joyful happy and successful life for years and years. Through the power of our life coaching program, this does not have to be the case anymore.
My personal recovery began in 1996, and continues to this very day. And will joyously continue to be a part of my daily routine for the rest of my life. I use the word "joyously" , as I has seen the impossible happen. Where once I could not have imagined a day without alcohol or drug use, I now enthusiastically approach each day with passion and wonder, and love to help others to do the same.
Over the past 20 years, this program has helped thousands of people become free of every type of addiction imaginable, including but not limited to :
Alcohol Addiction
Drugs & Substances such as cocaine, marijuana, nicotine & prescription
Relationships & Codependency
Sex/masturbation
Power/Career/Money
Self Image & Esteem Issues
Food
Persistent or Returning Negative Thoughts & Attitude
Attachment, phobia and repression
My path has led me to experience both traditional and non traditional forms of recovery, and feel blessed to be able to offer my clients a unique combination of both in this uniquely crafted recovery program. The reasons behind addiction to substances, negative thinking, sex, food, greed, wealth, shopping or control may be similar or vastly different between each client, but the path to freedom will be the same for all. Self knowledge, surrender, education, action, and application combined with an open mind. I can help you learn how to:
Build a deeper spiritual foundation
Deal with crisis and chaos
Manage stress
Overcome Procrastination
Improve Communication at home or work
Heal from the loss of a love relationship
Rebuild after divorce or loss of a love relationship
Through the power of both talk and written coaching practices, each person discovers not just the "whys" of their addiction, but also the "how's" needed to move to a new existence.
Our compassion and confidentiality for each client is unsurpassed, as through my own daily recovery I knows firsthand the importance of having a support system in place that really cares. And yes, I really do care deeply about every person I work with.
We know that because of the fact that you are reading this right now, that today is the day to make the call, and begin your own process to finally get on the road to freedom, the road to recovery, that is available today for everyone.
I would be honored to work with you in your recovery and help you bring in the happiness, success, peace, and health that you deserve.
Your new path is simply a phone call away: 941-266-7676. Let us show you the way. Whether we do this in person or over the phone, the results will be the same:Freedom,Success. http://www.davidessel.com
"I am so grateful for the tools, wisdom, and courage that you provided to help me solve my dependency to alcohol. My 8 weeks with you provided everything that I needed to quit when nothing else had worked in my many past attempts to stop drinking. After 18 years of alcohol addiction, I am now happily sober and loving life. I still thank you every day."
— Andy
"Working with David on sexual addictions has transformed my life. I no longer dwell in guilt and self disgust from my behavior. I am able to experience the overwhelming emotion, accept it for what it is and let it go. This change did not happen overnight, it is something that I work on moment by moment. By applying the tools I received I am learning to love and accept myself and am taking a deeper look into the cause of the addiction, not the addiction itself. The investment of time and money in working with David has brought about a change in many areas of my life. I highly recommend his work, he has been a vehicle of Gods love and blessings to me."
— Wendy
Sunday, March 29, 2009
From Crisis to Personal Success..Workshop & more
For the past 24 years, I have witnessed people from all walks of life move from a variety of crisis experiences, to a life of success.
From addiction to sobriety, bankruptcy to financial solvency, divorce to forgiveness, weight issues to health as well as a lack of any type of spiritual connection to a place of deep faith.
In some of these cases, I was simply an observer, in others I played the role of confidant and coach. And in still others, I was the main character who honestly never believed at some point that a positive change could occur.
In every instance, we all come to the inevitable fork in the road that asks us to do something different than we are today, to see a major shift in the way our life is headed.
The great news is, right now tools are available that can help you to begin to dramatically turn your life, health, relationships, finances and more onto a new path that will bring a sense of success you may have never experienced before:
1 To shift your outside world,we must find, examine and change our inner beliefs about who we are, and what we believe in .
2 In order for our attitude to be shifted once and for all, we need to explore the benefits and challenges that come from trying to be a more positive thinker.
3 Holding ourselves accountable may not sound like fun, however there are steps to follow that will make this instantly a new part of your daily existence.
4 Some powerful changes in your daily routine may only take 10 minutes per day, yet lead to enormous end results.
5 The true power of affirmations and visualization is often missed as we lack the knowledge on how to most effectively use these wonderful action steps.
6 Abundance, in any area of life, actual miracles, can easily occur for you, or anyone, who wants to follow a new path.
At this very time in our lives, I see millions of people who are daily drowning in crisis, challenges and chaos that could rapidly change their entire existence with the guidelines that millions before them have successfully followed.
Please join me Sunday April 26, 2009 from 1-5pm at Fitness on the Move Health Club, Ft Myers Florida as we spend an amazing 5 hours sharing how anyone can begin to shift their lives today from crisis to personal success.
If I had not personally walked through the "fires" in life that many today are facing, I would not be able to share this information with the enthusiasm that I have...Yes, regardless of how challenging life may be right now, there is a path to greater success that we will share, explore and give you that day.
Included in the workshop fee, at no extra cost, you will receive a copy of the Hay House book "Slow Down: the Fastest Way to Get Everything You Want" as well as the powerful CD "Slow Down: Transform Your Stress Into Success".
Slow down, it's time to move from crisis to personal success....today.
SIGN UP NOW!
From Crisis To Personal Success Workshop - April 26th - $99
Love, peace David Essel www.talkdavid.com
Join me Sunday
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Addiction+ Surrender= Higher Power+ Success
For years I had a hidden addiction, an addiction that many people have struggled with but even more would never believe or understand, that was a block to personal success as well as to my Higher Power, or God.
I was a binge cocaine addict.
When many find this out, it's almost too much to believe.
During my entire adult life, I struggled to keep this from as many people as possible.
As a motivational speaker, radio/tv host, author and Master Life coach...it just did not fit.
As a fitness buff, who prayed daily, meditated daily, wrote in a journal weekly and lead an existence centered around helping others to reach their full potential, I would hide away for days at a time and worship cocaine.
My binges would have me up until 6am, when I'd do my last line, drink another bottle of wine to help me "come down" from the screaming high, try and locate some Valium to ease the crash...and then sleep the best I could until early afternoon.
I had sought help, but was never truly honest with any therapist in regards to the amount of cocaine I was doing or how often it happened.
A month or two might go by, then I was out looking again to score enough to keep me high for a few more days.
At times I might even let 3-4 months go buy...and then the cravings would begin.
As anyone who has ever tried to quit smoking on their own knows, the cravings for the high can be so powerful that no human intervention can ever work for very long...
Cocaine led me to the feeling of connection to God...while high, I created the life I always wanted..
I could creatively map out my next book...next workshop..fantasize about playing guitar.....search for luxury beach homes.....the fantasies went on and on..I was invincible!!
Until regardless of how many "lines" I did, I could not get higher...
Then the crash began..the lows filled in for the highs...and the following days sucked so bad I didn't want to live.
We called them the "pcb's"...post coke blues.
I reached out to God so many times in prayer...in pleas..to no avail.
Then in 1996, while living on Ft Myers Beach, after another all nite blowout...I awoke at 2.30pm and stared at the fan above my bed.
My dog Kona was on the floor and needed to be walked, as the last time she had been out was 5.30 am, after doing 5 large lines to give me the high needed to walk her before any neighbors would be up.
I remember screaming out to God.."please save me!! " Tears streamed down my face as I knew my life was now totally out of control.
"Please God please!!! Please save me, please remove this addiction. Please God hear my cry. I need you right now!!"
Tears streamed down my face as I laid in my own sweat, petrified of what was going on in my life.
While I had cried for help before, it was never with this intensity. I screamed so loud , afterwards I wondered if anyone might have heard me.
Someone did.
And that someone was God.
My day of screams was my surrender to my Higher Power, to God.
My craving, my addiction to cocaine was lifted that day, a true testament to the power of God, the power of surrender.
I am humble, I am grateful, I am in awe.
Slow down.
If you struggle with ANY addiction.... to love, nicotine, spending, negative thinking, religion, food, alcohol, sex, spending...Go to surrender.
Try 12 step groups, continue to try anything everyday of your life.
The freedom is what living is all about.
I love you, David Essel
www.talkdavid.com
www.lifecoachuniverse.com
I was a binge cocaine addict.
When many find this out, it's almost too much to believe.
During my entire adult life, I struggled to keep this from as many people as possible.
As a motivational speaker, radio/tv host, author and Master Life coach...it just did not fit.
As a fitness buff, who prayed daily, meditated daily, wrote in a journal weekly and lead an existence centered around helping others to reach their full potential, I would hide away for days at a time and worship cocaine.
My binges would have me up until 6am, when I'd do my last line, drink another bottle of wine to help me "come down" from the screaming high, try and locate some Valium to ease the crash...and then sleep the best I could until early afternoon.
I had sought help, but was never truly honest with any therapist in regards to the amount of cocaine I was doing or how often it happened.
A month or two might go by, then I was out looking again to score enough to keep me high for a few more days.
At times I might even let 3-4 months go buy...and then the cravings would begin.
As anyone who has ever tried to quit smoking on their own knows, the cravings for the high can be so powerful that no human intervention can ever work for very long...
Cocaine led me to the feeling of connection to God...while high, I created the life I always wanted..
I could creatively map out my next book...next workshop..fantasize about playing guitar.....search for luxury beach homes.....the fantasies went on and on..I was invincible!!
Until regardless of how many "lines" I did, I could not get higher...
Then the crash began..the lows filled in for the highs...and the following days sucked so bad I didn't want to live.
We called them the "pcb's"...post coke blues.
I reached out to God so many times in prayer...in pleas..to no avail.
Then in 1996, while living on Ft Myers Beach, after another all nite blowout...I awoke at 2.30pm and stared at the fan above my bed.
My dog Kona was on the floor and needed to be walked, as the last time she had been out was 5.30 am, after doing 5 large lines to give me the high needed to walk her before any neighbors would be up.
I remember screaming out to God.."please save me!! " Tears streamed down my face as I knew my life was now totally out of control.
"Please God please!!! Please save me, please remove this addiction. Please God hear my cry. I need you right now!!"
Tears streamed down my face as I laid in my own sweat, petrified of what was going on in my life.
While I had cried for help before, it was never with this intensity. I screamed so loud , afterwards I wondered if anyone might have heard me.
Someone did.
And that someone was God.
My day of screams was my surrender to my Higher Power, to God.
My craving, my addiction to cocaine was lifted that day, a true testament to the power of God, the power of surrender.
I am humble, I am grateful, I am in awe.
Slow down.
If you struggle with ANY addiction.... to love, nicotine, spending, negative thinking, religion, food, alcohol, sex, spending...Go to surrender.
Try 12 step groups, continue to try anything everyday of your life.
The freedom is what living is all about.
I love you, David Essel
www.talkdavid.com
www.lifecoachuniverse.com
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Breakthrough to Success....Love, Money, Health
If we truly want to find the success we desire in any area of life , there are two key steps to follow.
1) We must know what we want and be able to FEEL that result right now, and
2) We must be able to create and follow through on at least 1 action step today, a conscious step that will lead us toward our desired goal.
So, if you want more love, a deeper love, a new relationship....let's FEEL that desire right now.
Sit, at this moment, and feel that love that you truly want.
If it's more money or greater health, the same applies.
Now, write down an action step that will lead you towards that desire.
It could be in the giving of love to someone else, that you find it.
It could be in the 1 extra phone call today for your business that you create additional income.
It could be in the walking through the health club door, that you finally find the resolve to stick with a workout plan.
Or, it could be in the SURRENDER to a higher power, a powerful acceptance step that you find more peace today.
FEEL what you want, then act.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel www.talkdavid.com
WWW.lifecoachuniverse.com
1) We must know what we want and be able to FEEL that result right now, and
2) We must be able to create and follow through on at least 1 action step today, a conscious step that will lead us toward our desired goal.
So, if you want more love, a deeper love, a new relationship....let's FEEL that desire right now.
Sit, at this moment, and feel that love that you truly want.
If it's more money or greater health, the same applies.
Now, write down an action step that will lead you towards that desire.
It could be in the giving of love to someone else, that you find it.
It could be in the 1 extra phone call today for your business that you create additional income.
It could be in the walking through the health club door, that you finally find the resolve to stick with a workout plan.
Or, it could be in the SURRENDER to a higher power, a powerful acceptance step that you find more peace today.
FEEL what you want, then act.
Slow down.
Love, peace, David Essel www.talkdavid.com
WWW.lifecoachuniverse.com
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