Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Showing Love in Frustration: That's Real Love

When we have reached the level of awakening that we can show love to our partner or child when things are in a frustrated state, we have truly begun to master the art of love. Anything short of that is nice, but we're still working at a lower evolutionary level.

Anyone can love someone or be in love when things are going well. The sun is shining, your partner agrees with you, your job is secure and life is just humming along at a great clip. But when the other side of life rears it's head, that's what separates the amateurs of love from the true professionals.

If you truly want to experience the amazing benefits of love, you'll have to figure out how to stay in love , especially stay in love, when things are not going so well.

The first step is to make a verbal, or even written agreement with your partner that you will love each other through the good times and bad. Yes, as an ordained minister, I have couples repeat this when I marry them, but few really know what this means. So do it again today, if your married, or make an agreement with your partner that this is something you'd like to experience if you're not married.

I believe all couples who are serious about love should do this. Make a devoted commitment, look into each others eyes and do this now. Don't procrastinate, make the commitment and then hold each other accountable.

So, in the middle of a disagreement, one of you as to pull back and remind each of you that even though this is tense, you are in this for love. RECENTLY MY PARTNER AND I HAD THE CHANCE TO PRACTICE THIS VERY SAME THING IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND I WILL TELL YOU FIRST HAND THAT IT IS NOT EASY.

Yes, even though I do this work for a living, it takes a desire to experience the deepest of love in order to pull this off. My partner has agreed to do the same as I do for our relationship, and the tests will come throughout life as we both know. In the middle of a disagreement, we pulled back to remind ourselves that we can change this energy, back to love if we want to. The first attempt at this lasted about 4 minutes. LOL. Then we were back to believing we were each right. The second attempt at reconciliation lasted a little longer. It wasn't until the fourth attempt at resurrecting the FEELING of love that we have for each other that it was real, that it stuck.

At this point, I think we both recognized subconsciously how hard the other person was working at regaining the love and respect for each other that we do have, that we were finally able to come back to peace and love, to hold each other tightly, to say "I love you", and really mean it with emotion.

Then we had to carry this feeling into the night, as we slept, and awaken with the peace that flowed from love for each other. The verbal clues that we use, like "we're playing way below our capacity to love", helps us to cut off the flow of the small ego, and return to love.
But, without a conscious plan, it would never work.

Slow down today and decide to show your partner love in the middle of discontent, and watch the true meaning of love begin to surface in your life.

Love, peace, David www.davidessel.com

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