Sunday, December 6, 2009

Everyone is Our Teacher in Love, Yes, Everyone

At the end of a seminar I taught on leadership at a major university, one of the participants came up to question me on the statement that "everyone we meet is a teacher for us in life." It's an important concept that not only leaders need to master, but that all of us need to be more conscious about.

"My last boyfriend did not teach me a thing, I can't agree with that statement, unless you mean that he maybe taught me how to argue more. "

"What was your role in the arguments" I asked.

"I had no role, he would just argue to argue. For over a year, the same old thing", she replied.

At the end of our 20 minute conversation, she saw that he was trying to teach her a very valid lesson: there is a time to leave a relationship that is not working, or at least go and get the help we need if one is in turmoil.

Everyone , especially in romantic relationships that do not work, is trying to help us get to the next level of love. They are trying to get us to pick up "our game", to play at a higher level of love. There is a divine reason for all relationships, and it is up to us to figure out the reason so that we can become more awakened, and less resentful.

If I look at all of my love relationships that did not work, I can see the absolute beauty that each of these magnificent beings brought into my life. Some of the lessons I honestly did not want to learn, because it meant that I had to change. Some were here to help me strengthen my communication skills, while others pushed my buttons about religion, so that I could work on showing a deeper level of compassion for those who were on a different path than my own.

Others were in my life to help me to become more flexible, the teaching was to help me release the "my way was the best way" mentality. And others were definitely brought into my life to help me practice the art of listening without giving my advice, unless I was asked for it. A difficult lesson for me indeed! And last, there were those that were asking me to prove that I desired the deepest of love, when boundaries were crossed and I had to walk away.

The homeless are another great set of teachers that I have written about here before. In other words, our real teachers in life may be those who we feel most uncomfortable with. Isn't that interesting?

Former lovers, children, former bosses, the homeless....all great teachers in life about love.

Slow down and send a mental note of gratitude for all of your past, and current teachers.

Love, peace, Rev. David

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