My client looks me straight in the eye yesterday, and begins to cry, stating "I feel so overwhelmed, I'm unsure if I'm mad, sad, depressed...or a combination of all three!"
Within the last month, they lost their job of 15 years with no severance pay, lost their home of 5 years, and watched as their partner of 3 years walked out the door . It's taken a few weeks to settle in, and now they feel absolutely lost. The anger they held at their past employer has begun to fade, the frustration at their partner is waning, and the fact that they are living in a small apartment instead of a sprawling new home is becoming more real.
As I looked into her eyes, I could see the loss, and more importantly I could feel the sadness that she had not allow herself to feel yet. As I urged her on, she began to share how with all of her free time, she misses having someone she was in love with to spend it with. She knows the relationship was supposed to end for a variety of reasons, but did not realize that the available time she now has would bring up at first anger towards this person and herself, followed by an intense sadness that she had not let surface. Until today.
"My gosh, how I miss waking up with them every day, and walking together each evening. And weekends, was just time to relax together. I wasn't ready for these emotions to surface." And with that, the tears streamed down her face again.
This is a time of great change for many people, and quite honestly, no one is ever ready for changes that carry this much weight. In her case, it's the loss of love, money, and a career which is supposed to add some sense of security to our lives. Swoooosh! All gone in a short period of time.
Feeling anger, followed by depression, loss, followed by sadness, followed by resolution, is the path many of us walk during periods of great change. Each of these emotions must be felt, and even prodded by another if we get stuck at one level too long. Feeling sadness is the one area that I've seen in my practice that most clients stay away from for too long.
Today, finally she felt the sadness that had been building inside. I sat as she let the tears continue to flow, knowing that in that instant, a great healing was taking place.
Slow down and allow all of the feelings of change to wash through your body today, as you gather up the strength for a new chapter in your life.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com