Outside of our addiction to negative thoughts, I believe the second most common addiction in this world is that to love relationships. Being addicted is easily defined as returning to a thought , substance or behavior that is not healthy for us. And millions of love relationships easily fall into that category.
Many of my past and current clients put all of their hopes and dreams on the thought that "If only I was in a true love relationship, my world would be complete. " If we're single, this thought can become compulsive. If we're in a relationship that is not working, we're sure that if we had someone different, our life would be amazing. Addiction is written all over these thought processes.
In my own life, more times than I care to recall, I've stayed in relationships that even after a short period of 30 days I knew were totally not in my best interest! Yes, I was addicted to the notion of love, and even though my inner voice was screaming it's time to move on, the other voice of love addiction was begging me to stay.
There were times where I was with someone who had religious beliefs that ran counter to mine, and after seeing the only answer for us both was to move on and find someone who we did connect with at this critical level, we stayed, and the drama continued.
Or other times when I found myself with a wonderful person, but not connected with a similar vision of communication. I would stay against all warning signs going off, in the quest for love. Yes, a form of addiction.
I wrote recently about a client who was wondering if they should stay with their partner after he saw her texting her friends while he was making love to her. His decision to stay, even after she had again returned to the act of texting during sex with him is a sign of an addiction, in his words, to a great desire to make love work. Yes, an addiction to love.
When we continue to go back to an unhealthy love relationship, we are acting out of an addiction, that can be chemically based as well. Millions of chemicals, endorphins and hormones are released not just during sex, but even during the thought or fantasy of love. When we try to leave an unhealthy love affair, within a day or so both an emotional and physiological withdrawal can take place, and if we are not aware that this is because of our own addiction to love, we'll return once again to the person that is not right for us.
Many men and women stay in abusive relationships because of the power of both the emotional and physical addiction of "LOVE".
There are couples who have been together for 50 years or longer, who stayed not because they were right for each other, but because of their addiction to love.
Break your addiction to love relationships today with the help of a minister, counselor or skilled coach. For most of us, seeing the patterns of love addiction must be done with a professional, who can then also help us to create a future based in real, healthy, love relationships. Yes, it can be done.
Love, peace, Rev. David www.davidessel.com