A client walked in several months ago, sat down and proudly proclaimed she would not need to go through with our planned work together as she had diagnosed her own issues, and was well on her way to self healing. She had read enough books, received more information off of the inter net, and now was going to heal her emotional problems from her past, by herself.
This was not, unfortunately, this first time I had seen this very same experience in my office occur. As she left, I wished her the very best, and said a prayer that if she did not follow through with the work we had planned, that she would find another professional to work with.
Issues of abandonment from our childhood, emotional or physical abuse from any age, or low self worth followed by continued self sabotaging behaviors will rarely, if ever, be healed by ourselves.
The reason this client left, or others choose to bypass a professionals assistance is because they really do not want to do the deep work necessary to get past their past experiences. Why? Because, there often is alot of work to be done. Work that while not necessarily fun in the moment, brings huge relief down the road.
I know myself, for years I tried to heal my own issues of abandonment by myself, and thought I had until they would raise their head again somehow in a business or personal relationship. I finally relented, and got the most amazing help from both a relationship coach and a therapist.
I pulled the same "I can heal/fix myself" attitude when I finally faced my alcoholism. Guess what? Yes, you're right, it never worked until I surrendered to a team of professionals.
If you're reading this and have experienced emotional issues in relationships, intimate ones or maybe with your core family members, get out of denial, get out of the delusion that you can fix yourself. You simply cannot.
Slow down, and ask a professional for help today for long lasting emotional recovery. . And do not expect a correct diagnosis, or even the perfect plan of action for up to 4- 8 sessions of working together. The professional coach, counselor or therapist will need at least that much time for a correct diagnosis.
(ps....After months of trying to heal herself, with no results, I'm excited to say this former client has finally surrendered, and is working one on one with two fantastic professionals. As I see her changes weekly, I can say that what held her back before, will finally be released for good.)
Love, peace, Rev. David http://www.davidessel.com/